I guess I was cursed with your constant presence in my mind . I’m always trying to figure you out , I’m trying to understand your ways.. but i just don’t get you. And it keeps me awake at night . I knew you were always in love with her..I knew it from the start.. and i don’t know why i decided it would be best to ignore it , because if i dealt with it then.. it would have saved me a lot of tears . I don’t know why i let things get this far . I’m trying to get over you..I’m trying so hard , and I think I’m finally starting to let go , but it still hurts sometimes . When i think of you..and all we’ve been through, it hurts to think that while i was kissing you.. you were thinking of her , and every “I Love You” was intended for her. So..I don’t know where my life is headed now.. and I don’t know where your going next , but for some reason.. I just hope your happy now . I don’t want any more pain , and I think for me to be okay again.. I have to forgive you. So I’m working on that . 15 months is a long time to get over … you were a great guy to me.. I just wish it stayed that way though . Oh well . I guess i really do have to move on now . But for some reason i just cant stop thinking about you … I want my mind back … but.. in some sick way .. I kinda like you being there.?
October 18, 2010