My Angel

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The high-pitched shriek of my alarm clock going off on a Monday morning at six a.m. wasn’t what I wanted to hear that early in the morning. Another day of lousy school didn’t seem to exciting in my book. For some reason, it seemed like it was going to be an eventful day and I had the feeling something was going to happen. I sat dreading the eight hours of school thinking all day about what was bothering me so much that day. After school, I went to my mom’s work to go home with her and she told me what I knew what had been bothering me all day. She said that my aunt called and told her that she was in the hospital because something happened while she was at school, but she told us not to worry about her and that she would be out of the hospital by Friday.

By the time Friday whirled around the clock, she was still in the hospital. That’s when everyone started worrying about what was going on. The doctor’s ran tests on her heart and that’s when everything seemed to be going downhill. As soon as the results came back, they rushed my aunt to emergency surgery to fix the hole in her heart. The dreadful phone call from my uncle telling us that my precious aunt was just rushed into emergency surgery because the doctors found a hole in her heart was hard to hear because I didn’t know if I would get to see my aunt ever again.

Tuesday came and my mom and I were flying out of Amarillo to the Dallas Airport. While sitting in the uncomfortable airplane seats, between my mom and an older lady all I could think about was what my aunt would look like when I walked into her hospital room. I had images running through my mind that scared me for life. One part of me dreaded seeing her and the other part of me was excited to see her. When the plane touched the tough ground, the only thing in the world I wanted was to hug my aunt. Waiting for my mom and me were my two cousins Brailey and Jordan. I couldn’t help but burst into tears when I saw them.

Walking into the hospital I had a queasy feeling in my stomach. I was thinking again about what my Aunt would look like and if she would be able to talk to me. When we rounded the corner to walk into my Aunt’s room I looked in and she was sitting up in bed and I saw her beautiful smile and that’s when I knew she was doing just fine. Sitting in her room talking to her and listening to her complain about how bad she wanted out of the hospital and how bad her hair smelled brightened up my day. Seeing her face made me happier for the whole rest of the day. When we returned home after the first day at the hospital, I lay in bed and all I could think about was why I was thinking such bad things when everything was just fine.

The days went by and they ran more tests and everything went downhill from there on. At 5 a.m. on Wednesday morning, my aunt went into Cardiac Arrest and they had to take her into emergency surgery right away. The family was at the hospital by 6 a.m. in the waiting room, waiting patiently. My eyes were stuck on the door waiting and waiting for a sign of someone to come and give us the update. The seconds seemed like hours by the time the doctor finally came through the doors and told us what they had done. He gave us the heart breaking news that they had her on a blood machine that circulates all the blood in her body, they had to keep her chest open so they could watch if something happened, and they told us they put her brain on a machine to see if she was responsive to anyone talking to her. The horrible thoughts ran through my mind once again.

Walking back to my aunt’s room this time was different than before. My footsteps seemed to get heavier while I got closer to the door and my tears seemed to be making a flood down my cheeks. While I opened the door to her room and heard the buzzing of the machines and the smell of blood and medicine I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn’t bear to go any farther. The tears seemed to be flowing down my face faster and faster and I started to whimper louder and louder. I was staring at my graceful aunt that was just smiling a week ago and now she was lying on the hospital bed with IV’s and tubes and machines all around her. I reached my hand out to hold hers and I started talking to her like she was talking to me the first day I came. I told her how much I loved her and how much I wanted to see her smile and I told her that she would win this battle no matter what. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and I squeezed her hand one more time and walked away.

I prayed to God that day to please help my aunt and keep her here with us because it wasn’t her time to leave this world yet. The doctor came in and told us that she hadn’t improved any and he didn’t think there was anything else he could do. He wanted us to come say our goodbyes. At that time the word goodbye struck me like a bullet in the heart. The doctor was telling us he wanted us to say bye to my aunt because she was dying. A miracle happened that afternoon. The doctor came in and asked us permission to operate on my aunt one more time because he thought he knew what was wrong. He told us that he really thought this would work. God was listening to my prayer. He gave my aunt the courage to be strong and carry through with this.

Everyone was happy and we all couldn’t believe that my aunt just went from lying on her death bed to being a miracle in our eyes. The doctors told us she was doing a lot better then she has been and they thought she would be just fine. They told us they think she needed a heart transplant so they put her on the waiting list at a Dallas hospital and a date to be transferred to that hospital. The week went by fast and she was transferred on Thursday to Dallas.

She was there for 2 days and she wasn’t breathing on her own and her heart and kidneys were quitting on her. The transfer list couldn’t find a match for her fast enough and she was hanging on by the last stitch. It was time to say goodbye. I walked through the ICU office and past all the other patients’ rooms holding my mom’s hand on the way there. I stopped right before I entered the door. I looked at my aunt lying on the bed and I couldn’t help but cry even more. I walked to my aunt’s bedside and I grasped her cold hand. I bent down beside her and told her she was my hero and the strongest person I have ever known. I told her how much I was going to miss her and how much I wish she could stay here with us. I squeezed her hand kissed her and told her “Aunt Jennifer I love you.” And then I let go and walked away.

My aunt flew to heaven and became my angel Saturday, December 13, 2008 at the age of 37 years old.





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