The first time I don't have a reason

October 4, 2010
I dont understand why its so important for me to have everything precisely planned out. I'm a kid, not a buisness women, or anything of true imprtance. I'm sick and tired of writing in my frilly little planner and haveing an explanation for everything I do.

Sometimes I dont wanna know whats going on, or why everything is happeneing. I dont want everyone to expect me to be perfect, because I'm not, and i never will be. But no one else will be, either. I'd like to meet anyone whose perfect, or even close perfect. So someone please tell me why it's such a big deal when I screw up.

Explain to me why everyone gets mad at me when I'm not perfect. Why am I required to speak only when spoken to, and get straight A's on every reprt card? Why cant I just be a normal kid, and fail math, and get grounded, and then redo it? Why is it so terrible that I cant recite the spanish alphabet from memory? Not everyone can do that, you know!

So right now, I dont have a reason to do anything. For once, I'm hurdeling trough life blindly, at light speed, and let me tell ya, it feels pretty d*** good.

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