My second worse fear has
always been
children.
My first?
The people I know and love.

I turn on the T.V and flip through the channels. Crap, crapers, crapiolla (how is it that out of 1000 channels there is nothing good on???) I finally settle on the news, something I never watch but its better than anything else on. The anchorman was a chubby man who looked in his late 40’s he wore a lifeless, apathetic look, I guess you have to be unresponsive when reporting news to not seem partial or whatever that political crap had to do with things.

“Two bodies were found early Sunday morning in downtown district” They cut to the mediocre video taken that morning.
A man lay facedown on the sidewalk, he had short black hair and looked to be in his late 40’s, he looked like the typical dad, normal husband, he still held the shopping bag which clearly held eggs, bread and milk, he was bringing it home for his family, but he didn’t make it instead now he lays on the blood covered street. Next to him was my second worse fear, a child. He was a family man, the little boy could not have been older than 8, he was a significant distance fro his fathers resting place, his white t-shirt was tainted dark scarlet red, he had holes on the back of his shirt, he still held the car keys clenched tight in his little hand.
He was shot in the back, as he tried to get away.
As the camera panned out and I drifted back into consciousness the anchor man ended his statement “No arrest have been made”
“Bringing this weeks death toll to 32” (not counting the weekend killings) said the anchorman with a professional tone, as if he was reminding viewers of the importance to spade and neuter their pets.
If I would have saw 3 years ago I would have been in tears, tears of rage, tears of sadness, tears of pity for the poor wife and mother whose life had changed dramatically in one morning, now I look at as a norm. I don’t think its right but at this point it is unstoppable, my second greatest fear has been realized more than it should, but I have been very lucky in the sense that my greatest fear has yet to come true, I pray it never does.

These images were like a casual stroll through the park compared to the countless others, these two were already dead, already gone, and whatever suffering they went through is done now. The real horrific images were not going to be on the news, no matter how different the broadcasting laws and how much more these stations were able to broadcast compared to a US station, these images were found online. My cousin showed me last summer and I know they will always be with me. I shudder remembering.
The runners of this “blog” purposely do not kill their victims instead experiment on them trying new ways to inflict as much torture as humanly possible; they use it to send their message. The goriest Hollywood movie does not compare to these real life horrors.
Just then my father walks in “Hi, mija how was your day?”
“Fine daddy” I responded. He followed my gaze and asked “how many?” casually.
“32” I responded.
“Down a couple from last week”
“Yup”
“What’s for dinner?”


This isn’t fiction this is a normal day living in El Paso, TX next to the murder capital of the world Cuidad Juarez, Mexico.