The Persuit of Happiness

September 6, 2010
By Anonymous

I Caused it.
I can Cure it.
I can Control it.
I can’t help Care for myself by Communicating my feelings,
Not making healthy Choices, and
By not Celebrating myself.

John Stuart Mill proposes that “happiness should be approached sideways ... like a crab." If I had learned only one idea from my experiences of living with an Alcoholic parent I would chose that phrase. I had gone through life misunderstanding the seven c’s. I never believed the saying as I always put the blame of what my mom does on me.

I walk downstairs to get something to eat, and I see her. She is lying on the couch. She has her face on again, her downturned lips and blankness that pierces right through my body. I don’t know who She is, but definitely is not my mother. I continue to walk by, and dance around the house to avoid the usual spots on the floor that make a squeeking noise. I miss, and she wakes up, stares right through me, and passes out again. I quickly go back up to my room. I think to myself, what could I have done? What did I do wrong? Should I have said something? I continued to think through those questions, proposing answers to each one. Sometimes I would even write an e-mail and “forget” to send it to her about her drinking.

My sister and my guidance councelor was a great support group for me, as both of them have experienced the same thing that I have to go through. My sister even experienced it with my Mom as well. They had experienced some of the worst years of my life, through depression to extreme joy. Sadly, this time it was depression. The questions of what I should of done with my Mother had overtaken my body, corrupted me like a virus, shutting down every glimpse of the outside world. Through the darkest of times, I started searching for the real answers to the questions. I wanted to know the cause, I wanted to know the cure, and I wanted to know what I could do for myself.

I came across a support group for children of alcoholics, and apprehensively entered a chat room. Very shy, I just watched what happened. I took a passive role in the conversation after a week, putting in my two cents every now and then when I felt comfortable. One day I went in, and an advertisement on the side listed a website for the Seven C’s. I clicked it, and was amazed to find the answer to my questions. It wasn’t the answers that were wrong though, but the questions. I since have not entered that support group, and have come out of the worst time in my life. The only thing that it took was understanding that:
I didn't Cause it.
I can't Cure it.
I can't Control it.

I can help Care for myself by Communicating my feelings,
Making healthy Choices, and
By Celebrating myself.

The author's comments:
Every now and then I decide to write down my feelings, and this was one of those times, I didn't even expect to turn it into my college essay.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Sep. 13 2010 at 9:25 pm
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

Very strong and well written! Great job!

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