My heart Returns

Conscience hit like I was never a sleep, an action so sudden the room was foreign to me. The familiar white walls seemed like a world outside my own. It took only but a few seconds for everything to come rushing back in to my head, a freight train of info that also seemed like was never gone.

The routine that followed was as unusual as it always was except for the style of clothing I put on that put the feeling hanging in the air ten years into the future. The closet was beginning to look like a cartoon characters would look; every outfit exactly the same, only color changed every so often.

After a small breakfast I headed out the door, on my way to school. So many thoughts were in my head at that moment it felt like it had exploded over night and was now filling my heart to the brim.
My heart. The thought sent me straight into thoughts of my best friend. The one I didn’t see all summer, who never called and never tried to hang out. The summer was hard for me. I missed her more than I missed happiness. The same happiness that hasn’t filled me since almost a year ago, and it was that happiness that everyday I use very ounce of right to pursuit. Pursuit until I wear my self out and can’t pursuit anymore. But even then I’m not done, not as long as my goal is simply that, still a goal.
Arriving to school I sit at the usual table with all my friends. Veronica is nowhere in sight and my nerves only pulse out more electricity. Today is her birthday and the present I made her still sits all alone in my locker just waiting to be set free into the arms of it’s new owner.
Staring into space Veronica passed by and my whole body stopped working, gears stopped spinning, lungs stopped pumping, and my engine goes blank. It wasn’t the first day of school but it was the first time I had seen Veronica for three months, time that seemed to last forever. The kind of time I wish I had now, to be able to talk to her for hours. Stare into her eyes hearing every word she says. To hear the voice of an angel, a fallen angel, that sounded like high-pitched bells. These bells echoed throughout my mind, causing every part of me to sink into quicksand. But I knew it wouldn’t happen.
As she passed me by she didn’t even glance over at me. Her best friend didn’t exist. It had been three months and not one call. Three months and when we finally see each other face to face it’s as if some one wiped me of her mind, wiped it with an eraser. I thought I had known pain, but for her to ignore me was like she was holding my heart in her fist.
The rest of the day went as any school day would, boring with a side of comedy, to put spice in the recipe. Lunch came quick but didn’t satisfy the beast that was my stomach when my heart emptied it.
The last bell rang and I shot out of the chem. room into the barrel of the hallway exiting the doors to the stairs. Like lightning, I flew down them, and as I got to my locker I spun the combination in without a thought in my head and grabbed my things. I didn’t forget to include Veronica’s gift in my artillery.
When I got outside I handed it to her and the look on her face was more puzzling that thankful, but I knew she appreciated it cause she is my friend after all. As she walked away I felt a slight bit better and I also realized that to day was my b-day too. Hopefully that meant my destiny just walked away. A destiny I won’t be just handed, because as it’s said a goal without commitment is just a dream.





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