Thank You

By , Head of St. Margarets Bay, Canada
Dear Boy Who Likes Me,

You may not know this but you saved my life. Without you, I believe my mother would've had to plan my funeral. Without you, my brother would have had to become a man at thirteen-years-old. Without you, I'm almost positive I would have died.

I suffer from clinical depression. I was diagnosed when I was seventeen. The antidepressants helped, but only to some extent. That summer, the summer we met, the antidepressants made me feel as though I should have been taking peppermints twice a day.

Losing control is one of the attributes listed for people who cut themselves. Others include depression. Rage. Desperation. Emptiness. All of these things struck me that summer. I felt every emotion listed and it felt like the only thing I could control was when I cut and where.

I thought a lot about death. I thought about how much easier I believed everything would become for me. But then, i met you. Everything changed.

You've had just as much of a hard time with life as I have. You've had both your head and your heart screwed with. You've been lied to and hurt. Maybe that's part of what makes us work.

You make me feel cared for and special. You made me realize that maybe there really is a future with me. I can only hope and pray and dream that I'm lucky enough to spend it with you.

Since the day I met you, I haven't cut myself. I haven't tried to cut myself. I haven't even thought about it. The scars are all that are left.

Thank you. Thank you for making me feel like I matter. Thank you for making me feel things I've never felt before. Most of all, thank you for saving my life.





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xXnew_revolutionXx said...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 8:41 pm

this is beautiful. I'm so glad to hear that you're doing alright now :) It's really inspiring to hear the stories of others who have been able to get through selfharm- it gives me hope

*best wishes*

 
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