Dreamers Blame the Stars

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I tossed and turned in my bed, trying to fight the thoughts inside my head. I thought tonight was going to be just like the nights I always had, rough, long and lonely, but it was not. At times, I overworked myself, got home late and all I wanted to do was to jump onto my bed and sleep in, even if I knew I wouldn't be able to rest my brain from thinking. I always couldn't sleep, and instead, I would just lie there with my eyes wide open, staring out the window at the city lights.

Tonight was different from the other nights, tonight was quieter, emptier. Tonight was pitch-dark. Tonight was a refreshing night.

I sat up on my bed with my back against the wall. Keeping my head straight, I looked out the window - I couldn't see a thing - no light, no sound, not even reflections. It was funny how I had thought the window wouldn't let me see through, and even funnier, I caught myself smiling. What was I doing in the dark smiling, appreciating how the night swallowed my nerve? I had no idea. And in fact, I enjoyed it. I'd never had a chance to really see, I mean, look into the dark.

The house had never felt so hollower than tonight. There was only me, sitting straight up on the bed, embracing what I thought was the ever blackest hole, with the clock going tick-tock-tick-tock. I would start to get anxious and scared when I was little. There was no light, there was no hope. My father then, would hold me so close and kissed my forehead gently, he would point to a tiny little star far far away which sparkled with only the dimmest light I had ever seen and told me to never lose hope at night, because - "Even though the sun's down, the stars still come out," his favorite quote.

I couldn't find a star tonight, not a single one. Strange as it seemed, I was not afraid nor did I lose hope. It made me realize that, maybe it was the stars that made us lose hope. There used to be so many stars, twinkling winkling hanging on the sky, the problem was, there were too many stars - people were desperate to make wishes. They wished on almost every star they could see, until they became out of wishes, there were still plenty of stars left. How could people be so foolish, that they really thought stars would carry their every wish? The stars could only help you once, with your most important wish. And when the other wishes didn't come true, people started to complain about how terrible the stars were. They grew up and did not want to believe in wishing-on-a-star anymore.

Tonight was peaceful. I didn't need to hear any complaint anymore, for there was no star on the sky tonight for people to blame. All those people were asleep, lost in their own fancy dreams. I was wide awake in the middle of the night, with my arms wrapped around myself.

I happened to be the only one awake in the dark, while the stars which had been accompanying me ever since I was a child, were all picked by the dreamers. Was it only a coincidence?





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