Everyone knows the famous story seen repeated time and time again where someone is given a chance to see in a dream how they truly affect other people's lives without realizing it. It usually ends with the person waking up, enlightened by this experience, and either deciding to change for the better or value their friends, family, and life more. This experience is moving in movies, but in real life, it's life changing. For me, eighth grade year was a terrible year. I was struggling with so many issues and stresses related to friends, family, school, and just to add to my problems it seems, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. My mother, who was very concerned about my well-being, helped me find a well-established psychiatrist who tried to help me through therapy sessions and prescribed anti-depressants. Even with all the effort my physiatrist and mom put into me, I felt alone and misunderstood, making their efforts almost useless and my depression worse. During the worst stage of my depression where suicidal thoughts constantly haunted me, I remembered a dream one night that changed me forever. In my dream, I actually did commit suicide and then was able to see how all my teachers, friends, soccer team, and family reacted to my sudden death. At the time, it had seemed to me like no one cared about me, and no one would even miss me or notice that I was gone. However, to see everyone's eyes filled with tears and saying all the loving things they wish they had said before, brought me to tears as I woke up to my alarm clock the next day. I jumped out of bed and rushed through the house to make sure nothing was out of place and that everything was okay, and in fact, I found it was even more than okay. I was seeing things in a new light now and felt like I was actually alive again, appreciating everything I had previously overlooked. I then made the decision to do more proactive things instead of feelings sorry for myself. I threw myself into school, studying harder than ever. I threw myself into soccer, practicing harder than ever, and began writing poems that I used as a device to work through my feelings. I just tried to get involved again with my friends and family who I had neglected and ignored. Since then, I know to never underestimate the value of life and to always find a happier side to any situation.
Dreams, Depression, and Development
August 4, 2010