To Find Someone You Love, You've Gotta Be Someone You Love

August 2, 2010
By Jamie Bishop GOLD, Cartersville, Georgia
Jamie Bishop GOLD, Cartersville, Georgia
10 articles 0 photos 0 comments

So, as this semester comes to a close, I’ve noticed an abundance of changes throughout my life. Some of these changes happened at the beginning of the moving process and some are still in the works. I’m not necessarily talking about physical changes… I’m referring to more of a revelation that has been a long time coming, and is more of an emotional detachment. I’ve said that I believe it’s taken me this long to realize it all, but actually consider myself quite fortunate to have come to this understanding at such a young age.

I encourage you one day when you are stressed out…. take a step back and evaluate your life. Retreat… for you and your life must have a sit down. Are there any barriers that are going to impede you from being the person you want to become? For me, the answer is ‘yes’. It has been for quite a while, however I just refused to see it so that I would seemingly “belong”. You’ve got to take the blinders off and fix what you don’t like about your life. No one ever got anywhere with a bunch of toxins in their life, so why do you think that you can? Rid yourself of it. Suck out the venom. My grandmother always told me that I had infinite potential, as do you. I’ve just had to learn how to live out that potential to the fullest.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to say that every time you don’t like something you should do away with people in your life. I’m just saying that it has taken me eighteen years to finally realize you do have to let go of things sometimes. As hard as it may seem at the moment, it’s going to be extremely beneficial to you in the long run. You may think your life is fine on the surface, but in the depths of your heart, I think you will find that you know what you need and what you don’t. This is your life and you need to do what you need to do in order to live a full and happy life.

This realization may hit you when you’re eighteen, or maybe when you’re forty-five (in which case I am sorry) — but either way, consider yourself very lucky, because from that day on, if you are truly serious about it, you will live your life disease free. The luckiest, of course, are the ones who are surrounded by people that love them and show their true care for them. But for the majority of you, this isn’t the case…. hence my reason for writing this.

What has brought upon this realization in my life? Well, it’s a plethora of things, but I think I have finally figured out my main reasoning. We all want to be happy with ourselves…. but for me, it’s what is possible when you’ve become happy with yourself. The way I see it, that’s when you can finally be truly happy with someone else. We’ve all been in the position where we have someone that we care for and we hope that they think positive things about us. We hope they find us attractive, notice our new haircut, and adore the way our new outfit highlights our attributes. We’ve all been there. But now, I am somewhere else. I don’t mind so much about someone thinking I’m pretty. Because I think that when you find someone that changes your outlook, the things you care about change drastically as well. I now find myself fixing things that have needed to be fixed for years in order to feel like someone worth loving.

This isn’t about changing yourself for someone. It’s about changing for you, and in turn, becoming someone you believe to be lovable. Perhaps this will only happen to you the first time you really want to mean something to someone. I mean, have you ever sat and talked with someone about their past relationships and become envious of the way they talk about an ex? It’s not always terribly obvious, but you can always find it in the twinkle in their eye or the hesitation on their tongue. You crave to become that twinkle or that quickened beat of the heart. And maybe you never will be. Maybe that person has gotten the best of them and you have to take the pieces you can get. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. And you’ve got much better odds if you’ve come to love yourself as opposed to being a mess of a person desperate to be loved. You have to be loved for the right reasons. You can’t just be special because you want to be, just like you can’t be a pro athlete just because you want to. It takes effort to place yourself on the path that you need to be on. I’m trying to explain this the best I can… the feeling that you get when you want someone to stick around, genuinely. It’s not that I wouldn’t be okay without them, because I guess I would. It’s just that I don’t want to be, you see? The day you find someone you truly don’t want to lose, perhaps you will understand.

For now, live life in a way that you are proud of, no exceptions. You are the only one who knows what is right for you. And more importantly, you are the only one who can make the changes necessary for your true happiness. I think you will find that you already know what to do. Stop living with everyone else’s weight on your shoulders. Only you can free yourself… and now is the time to take flight.

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