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Knowing You For All The Wrong Reasons
Sometimes when you get to know a person too well for all the wrong reasons, it could change for the best.
i've gotten to know a particular person well this year, and that person makes me sick to my stomach. this person sold me right from the beginning. the reason why i bought it was because i was dying for some change-- i craved for some change. there was nothing more that i wanted but to be out of the situation where i was. and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. this person sold me like it was their job. and that's because they wanted too, as bad as i did. when that person and i got our oppurtunitiy started i was excited to begin my new, improved life. i met so many people, and i knew for once, i was happy.
i deserved it. at the time it seemed like everything that was happening was good. no, great.
it turned out it was the complete opposite.
i could start to emotionally feel unsure of this "so right" person. (i have never felt that much about a person--not for the good, either) it was as if they were too right for me. (i keep using they because i don't want to "genderize"this person)
i've never experienced these problems in a friendship before so it was hard to see the solution right away. and that's one of my pet peeves. these weeks that went by, made me hurt so bad. i had never met a more mischievous person who i thought i knew so well. Everything that they did wrong--lying, doing things behind my back, talking about my morals behind my back, and risking my education opportunity made me even more sure of who they were and who i perceived them to be.
i shared these times with my close friends, (friends, who i had known longer than this person) and i never felt this bad about doing something that helped me get through this. sure, i was talking behind that person's back but i knew i was right and could feel it in my heart. i was doing this for all the right reasons, while this person was talking for all of the WRONG reasons. the reason i felt so bad for talking about this person to my friends is because i didn't want them to think of me as whatever negative thing thing they thought of me. but you know what? they knew i was right about everything, because if they were in my position they would of made the same decisions. i can feel it in my heart.
sure, i'm gonnna have to encounter this person time and time again, but i'm thankful. this person finally decided to part ways. but it's funny and ironc because their reasoning to this decision is the same reasons i expressed. (we've gone back and fourth unfortunately this person had the last call-- and that shattered me the most.. not the decision itself but the fact that this person had the final decision)
so in this case, this person knows i am right.
and there's nothing--NOTHING more richer than that.