One Second Chance

June 17, 2010
I remember being on the bed, just laying there with my boyfriend. We weren’t supposed be in his room alone, but his mom was asleep down the hall. We weren’t doing anything we shouldn’t, we just wanted the privacy. I snuggled closer to him, and whispered “I love you.” He kissed me, told me how he loved me too. And it felt like a perfect day

“But I need to tell you something.” I looked up at him and kissed he cheek, ready to listen. I had no idea what I was about to hear. He looked so guilty, so scared. Suddenly, he jumped up from the bed, and turned out off the TV. We hadn’t been watching it anyways, but now we had silence. Nothing good could come of this.

Suddenly, there were tears in his eyes when he told me. The words just didn’t register in my brain, and I was sure I had misunderstood. I asked him to repeat himself. “I cheated on you.”

I sat there, silently, waiting. I felt like stone. He took this as a sign to continue. “I’m so sorry, Brittney,” he said. He took the next minute to tell me who, how, when. I surprised myself by being relieved. What he told me could have been worse. I still just sat there, saying nothing. I contemplated what would happen next. Despite my relief, I just knew I had to leave him. We’d never make it through this.

“I’m telling you this because I can’t keep anything from you. I love you too much. But I need you to know, I prayed about it. I read the Bible, I talked to God. He’s forgiven me, and I’m changing myself.”

His words tugged at my heart. And just as I had known I had to leave, I now knew that wasn’t a real option.

Calmly, still a stone, I told him. “We’ll make this work. I’m not leaving you.”
He was still crying, and he pulled me close to him. “I love you. I really do,” he told me. “Stop being so strong. Cry.”

He knew me so well. As soon as the words left his mouth, I felt the tears leave my eyes. I cried because he had betrayed me. I cried because things would change. I cried for how much he hurt me, but how much I loved him still. “You only get one second chance,” I told him. And I knew it was the only one he’d need.

It’s been difficult, but we’re stronger today than we were before then. Before I was dating Anthony, when someone asked, the answer was always “No, I wouldn’t forgive a cheater.” And of course, I know there may be some instances where you shouldn’t give the cheater a second chance. But with us, I know in my heart I made the right choice. I love you, baby.

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rockerchick4christ said...
Jun. 21, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I realize I made a few grammer mistakes in my writing, and they are annoying me. Haha. I'm sorry if they annoy you too, but at least it's easy to understand what I meant.
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