Stick Up Kid

May 23, 2010
At this point in my lifetime, it seems like im wanted for a cold case murder. Only I was lucky; I got away! I seek hide outs and get aways to escape this hidden fear. This time the chase is over, and theres no where left to hide. I find myself trapped in this imaginative world. I find that the whole time I was running, I was staring back at myself. I had let my multiple personalities split and take their own lead. Now im a hazard to myself. I realize that I need to be in control; behind the wheel, before there isn't so much as a glint of hope left for my future goals. I strive to find myself, only I dont know where to start. It seems that I lost the girl I once claimed to be so long ago. This devistating journey seems to have many emotional rollercoaster rides, I cant convince myself to begin. Where do I start? What do I do? Questions to which I seek anwsers. I wait till they approach me, but when the anwsers are staring me right in my face, I glance down in shame. Almost as if im scared to take the chance. Im just so far gone in this world I once thought I knew. I dont know if I can pull myself out and have the strength to go through with this quest. My last resort...God! People say he's there before anyone , so I wait and try to listen for his guidance. Only my conscience speaks louder, so I can no longer hear. Half of me acts out in a rage of devious behavior, while the other is calm and settle. Upon that these many voices revealed in my mind at at battle, and I just cant seem to choose the winner. Sooner than later they jump out in disguise to act as if part of my personality. Unfortunatly this is an infection antibotics cant fight off. So will i get me? Or will I contine on this chase and waste time to live my life? This I do not know, but im going to continue to stick it out, keep moving forward, and strive toward the best of me!





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FlyleafFreak said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Hey, this is really good. I  felt the excact same way a few months ago except for one big difference: I didn't stick it out or strive toward the best of me.  I resorted to drinking heavily, follwoed by running away, followed by horrible lying. You gotta keeping doing what you say your going to do okay? Don't ever give into the easier path because that's what I did and  I've lost four really good friends over and gained some bad ones. I'm letting God take over now and it's going gr... (more »)
 
Crystalmarie3_21 replied...
Jul. 3, 2010 at 11:48 am
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that i have people out there who enjoy and can relate to my writing. Im sorry to hear that, but theres always a chance to turn your life around. Things can always get better. Good luck, and thanks for the advice!
 
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