personal essay | Teen Ink

personal essay

May 4, 2010
By rbell03 BRONZE, Houston, Texas
rbell03 BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wondered… wondered why in the world was this happening to me. Sure I was a brat but weren’t all 6 year olds with younger sisters little monsters? Then why me, why was my world coming down around me, it’s all because of a single word, death. Death is one of the only things that can turn ones world upside down. Death can also, as it showed me, change a person’s life into something that is different from what they had before. It may not be a great life to others but it is functional.


When you are six, the little things in life seem gigantic, but maybe it’s not the fact that six year olds are super sensitive, on the other hand, it could be the fact that with the biggest and most life changing things they just don’t quite understand so the little things seem bigger than they appear. And when a huge tragedy does happen they have no idea how to take the news. They just sit there as they realize how important living life to the fullest is. Now when I look back and realize how much a single night could affect a family’s life it still shocks me. I had always known death was very devastating but I never really worried about it, I never actually thought very much about it either.

The scary thing is I can remember the last time I saw my father perfectly. I was jumping around on the couch acting like a maniac, my mother was sitting on the other couch and my sister, who was two at the time, was already laying down when my father came out of the back rooms. He looked as he normally did, dark black hair, bright blue eyes and a t-shirt tucked into his favorite pair of jeans with a midnight black belt on, he was going to an Astros game with my grandfather. He walked over to me and my mom and said, “Okay Reese, now be good for mommy while I’m gone, I’ll be back as soon as the game is over.” Then he kissed me on the forehead and walked over to my mom and kissed her on the forehead as well, but I was too preoccupied and focused on not falling off the couch to hear what he said to her. After he walked to the front door and looked back at us and said his final goodbyes for the night telling us he loved us. We never would have imagined those simple words he said were going to be the last words we would ever hear from him.

We were already a small family and the death of my father really didn’t help, sometimes we struggled but when everyone helped us out in the neighborhood, things started to pick up once again. Some of the moms of children in my sister’s preschool class made lunches for her every single day of the week because it was one of the hardest times of our lives. I had a lot of people there for me and our family really appreciated it considering they put us back on our feet when we were down. I could have never asked for anything better than all of their love and support.


I always ask myself if I was the one that made this happen, I was a complete and total brat, I never said please or thank you and yes I did take life completely for granted but the answer is simply no. Everything happens for a reason. And my father’s death was not my fault and it wasn’t my mother’s fault. And yes it did change my life immensely but it also made me a completely new and better person. And I needed that change more than anything. The bottom line is probably you never know what the world is going to throw at you and when it does just stand strong and never take anything for granted, especially life.


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