I remember your arms wrapped protectively around her, your two voices soaring up into the darkness. Twisting, swirling, writhing, ripping. Tearing into my soul. I remember how through out it all, your eyes were locked onto mine. Riveting. Boring into my heart. And in no way would I be the first to look away, the first to let go of this connection. I felt like nothing could come between us right then, not even the haunting words dancing out of your mouth. Or out of hers. I felt no jealousy, no resentment, just awe. I remember wondering if I would die without you. But brushing that quickly away, I let myself be wrapped up in the music, felt my body tingle with the utter power of it all, and notice faintly the deepening pit of hurt growing in my stomach. It was then that I knew this wasn't fake. You really did mean something to me: Love, even if not in the passionate sense - though that is what I longed for. The tears were flowing freely, but the wonder of being there stemmed the river to a calm but persistent stream. Your arms encircling her tiny waist, your voice plunging into my soul, and your eyes locked onto mine.
May 8, 2010