That phone call has forever changed me. I have always been afraid of new things, you were no different. What was supposed to just entertain me for the night, turned into something much more. June 12th, 2008, that was the night I laid on my messy floor, he told me “I’m willing to make it work if you are.” As scared as can be I said yes.
June 15th, 2008, best day of my life. I woke up with a million butterflies in my stomach; the rest of the day was no different. I did my hair a billion times; although I was never satisfied with it. Changing my outfit up to the hour you arrived. Skyler and Macauley had to come meet you at the bottom of the hill McDonalds, you had no idea where you were going; they brought you to my house. I looked out the window, you were wearing your Italian shirt; you loved that shirt. My hand was shaking as I opened the door, as I let you in my house; and at that moment I let you in my heart.
After you left, I realized how scared I was. When you got home, you told me you were looking at the stars. I looked at the stars, a part of me felt as though we were together. I felt something with you I have never felt; that scared me. I told you I couldn’t date you; but no one realized why I couldn’t. I regret that more than you will ever know. You still talked to me though; it made me feel more secure with how said you felt. July 23rd, a week after that night I realized you were the brightest star that night. From that day on you are the only one that has been able to make me feel this way.
I loved all those summer nights of talking on the phone till the early morning hours, these nights are what I looked forward to every day. We talked about anything and everything; I told you when my friends did something s****y, and most important of all you listened to me. I remember this night perfectly; my parents and I were fighting again, I called you crying my eyes out, you told me that everything was going to be okay, and I believed you; I trusted you more than anyone. At that moment in time I realized what love truly is, you love someone more than yourself, you put them before yourself, they’re the ones you look forward to talking to everyday, from the moment you wake up till the time that you go to bed ; they’re the one that in some way you’re always thinking about. I told you that I loved you and I meant it with every part of my heart; you said it back and I could tell you meant it. I see all of these couples, saying I love you every five seconds, I can’t help but to notice that they don’t have that look in their eyes or the sound in their voice that we have.
I always got mad when you woke up late on the days you were going to come see me. I don’t think that you realized how much I just wanted to see you and for you to give me a big hug. Your hugs can cure any bad day. We always went to the same movie store, and went down the same horror film isle every time we went to get our movies. We get yummy food, and then go to my house and watch movies. I always fall asleep while lying in your arms watching movies. You always poke me at around 2 a.m. saying, “Sarah go to your bed.” You always make sure I am in my bed, tucked in and safe, I don’t think you will ever know how much this means to me.


October 12th, 2008; I gave the biggest piece of my heart to you. Sitting nervously there, I remember it all so clearly. So many thoughts were running through my head at that moment, but I had never felt so calm and secure. Your arms are the safest place I have ever known, and three words have never meant so much to me. Being as young as I am, I have never been more unsure about life, but you’re the one thing that I have never be unsure about; you’re the only constant in my life.
For six months, we both knew it in our heads; this wasn’t the right time for us. I feel as though I took out all my frustration with life out on you, when in reality you’re the only one that would be there for me no matter what. I decided to stop taking my anger out on you, and decided it was time to figure out who I was; and wanted to be.
I still don’t believe that anyone but you truly understands who I am. I still look forward to your big bear hugs, or you biting my nose (even if I say I can’t stand it), even those moments were we just sit on my couch together. You make me feel things I never thought I could feel. I feel like I’m living in some cheesy love story only not; this is real. From the moment I met you, you seem to have filled a void in my heart that no one else will ever fill.
I love you Andrew Carmen R. and that will never change. You mean more to me than anything, and you always will. I will always have what’s best for you at heart, and I guess that’s why this is all happening. I believe that someday it will be like that June day again, I hope with all my heart.
When I say forever and always I mean it <3