How to Feed the Children in 8 Easy Steps

March 15, 2010
By olafe BRONZE, Highland, Utah
olafe BRONZE, Highland, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

1. Tell your parents that everything will be fine, that you and your cousin can handle all the little kids. Insist that they take their time, and not worry about lunch, you’ll take care of it all.
2. Lose interest in the horde of kids, and watch a movie.
3. Realize that you’ve forgotten to feed the kids when they all come up to you moaning and salivating. Grab your cousin by the arm and yank her upstairs to find something to feed the hungry mob of small children. Chicken nuggets and apple juice will suffice.
4. Pre-heat the oven approximately 50 degrees hotter than necessary, and leave the chicken nuggets in for 3-5 minutes too long. While the chicken nuggets burn, plop two cans of apple juice concentrate in a pitcher and fill with water. Stir.
5. Head back downstairs while the nuggets cook, thinking that you’ll make it back upstairs in 20 minutes when the timer goes off.
6. Walk up stairs to the sound of a loud buzzer 25 minutes later. Hurriedly take the nuggets out of the oven, and fight off the crazed riot ensuing to make it to the bar. Set the pan of nuggets down and tell all the screaming imps to wait a few minutes for the nuggets to cool.
7. Watch in horror as the children spit out your hard work and yell that it is disgusting and that they want something else.
8. Repeat.

Similar Articles


This article has 1 comment.

WRIT3R4LIF3 said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 7:07 pm
lol i love this! 5 out of 5 stars!

Parkland Book

Parkland Speaks

Smith Summer