Sometimes I just feel like dying. Do you know how that feels? Too wake up each morning, and want it all to go away? This feeling I get, it's like deep regret, for all the things I’ve ever done, every time I’ve screwed up. No one, it seems, feels the way I do, but maybe one day, they'll think the way I do. They'll see where I’m coming from, all the things that I put up with. They'll be stressed out by friendships and never ending hurt. They'll see all of the things I do, on a daily bases. They'll feel all of my emotions, and understand they're a burden. All this pressure on my shoulders, it's getting to heavy to bare. Now thoughts of suicide, flicker across my mind. But what keeps me here, are the people I’d leave behind. The ones who'd be broken if left them now. I know I need my friends, but maybe, just maybe, they need me more.
March 12, 2010