Confidence in Confidants

By , Encino, CA
Early on in my sophomore year I grew extremely close to one of the friends, Bree; we literally hung out every chance we got, attached to each other as if we had found our second half. I saw it as our friendship grew, and hated it a little bit; I never wanted to distance myself from my other friends. But it slowly happened, and soon I only saw my other friends at lunch for fifteen minutes before Bree would pull me away for a one on one talk, or as she liked to call it, a hear to heart.

In those little talks we told each other everything: boys, girl drama, experiences and feelings. She was the first to know about my troubles and successes, and I heard all about her new senior boyfriend. I was happy for her.

Then I learned that she had given her virginity to the senior. I was a little taken aback; it had only been a month. I stuttered something like: “Did you…did he…love you?” And she responded that she didn’t care that much about sex anyway, it really didn’t mean that much to her; guys didn’t mean that much to her; she was going to do what she wanted and not care about anyone else’s feelings. She suggested I do the same.

They broke up within a week.

By that time, a boy began to text me, and she was as happy for me as I had been for her. She pushed me to go for him, even though I didn’t really like his personality or what he did: he played girls like cards, and got high and drunk every other week. I wasn’t like that, and wasn’t attracted to it. But still she shoved me, and now I think I know why: part of it was using me so that she could go drink and smoke with the boy as mutual friends, and the other part was that she felt I was too much of a goody-goody for her, and therefore wanted to bring me down a few pegs.

I went with the flow of things and decided to give him a chance. We hung out once, and that’s when I realized I really didn’t like him. I began to break it off, and she swore I was breaking his heart as well as hers (“I worked so hard to get you guys together!” Oh really now? What did you do?).

She began to tell him lies. About how I was playing hard to get, how I liked at least two other guys, and on and on. He flipped out at me one night, and I was completely caught off guard. Where did you heard that?!? I wanted to scream. Who the @$*# told you this $*&@?

“Bree.” He answered.

I couldn’t even be mad, I was so disappointed. I told him yes it really was over, but no I didn’t like anyone else, so just go find another girl. Shouldn’t be too hard.

I confronted Bree later, and she displaced all the blame off her. She didn’t even apologize, she didn’t take responsibility. Then she began to wonder why I didn’t talk to her as much.
Thank God it’s all over; I had made the decision to not trust Bree anymore, and I thought I would never have to talk to the boy again. It was a new day. The boy started chasing again, and if I have to, I’ll talk to him again, but I don’t think I’ll have to. Just as long as Bree doesn’t step in again it should all work out. And I’ve made other friends, and decided not to so easily trust and get close to them, else they make the mistake in thinking that my life is theirs and run free trying to make decisions for me. Silly Bree, I’m my own independent woman. You can’t treat me like some boy that you can easily wash down the drain.





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