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the most painful feeling :(
well...me and james broke up :(
he broke up with me, i never thought this would happen. but, somewhere, way back in my mind, i knew what he was going to do.
it was 2/17/10 at 11 p.m. we were talking, then we fought over something he promised to go to for me. it was a party that i invited him to, but he couldn't go, because he had to go to his cousins place.
and i got super p******, because i've been talking about this party for about a month. i told him not to make plans for that day, but he did anyways :(.
his cousin asked if he wanted to go over her house, and he said yes.
like WTF, he didn't even mention he had plans already. like OMG!!!
he didnt even say anything.
so we fought for hours, i kept begging him to please go, i was crying so much, then it happened. he snapped. he broke up with me :(. i begged him not to do this, but he kept saying the same thing.
" why do you love me, i keep hurting you."
i said " i dont care, i love you, james, please dont, please"
i cried like super hard. i couldnt take it. he said bye and told me to sleep. we hung up, but i couldnt sleep. i cried the whole night.
the next day, i was walking to my bus stop. i texted him begging him to text back, but he had no load, so he texted me with his friend, gelicas cell. after a while, he stopped texting, so i called the cell, gelica talked to me. u was crying while i was on the fone with her. she asked me what was wrong. i told her everything.
i cried allot more. she couldnt talk much so we said our goodbyes.
when i arrived at school i went to one of my friends jessa and i told her everything, i cried so much at school. then i stopped, james texted me, he had load. but only a dollar. so we texted. the bell for first period rang. so i walked there, tearing. i sat down and began to cry again. james kept texting me, so i kept texting him, we kept talking about US. and how mush i loved him, and how much i wanted us to stay as a couple.
there was going to be a test for my class, i couldnt study, i broke down and cried MORE, i couldnt handle it so i walked out of class. after a minute, jessa walked out to get me, she comforted me. she brought me back into class. i sat down, crying. my teacher, mrs. pollywinkle asked if i wanted to see the counselor, i said yes. so i walked there and sat down.
i waited a while, the the counselor started to talk to me. i vented everything to her.
after an hour or so of talk, i felt better and went to class.
then the day was ok, i still texted james that day though, but i didnt cry much after seeing the counselor.
days gone by, not seeing him, talking to him much (i still talk to him), barely texting.
gawd, i want him back...i love him :(
he said maybe, one day well get back together again. maybe when my feelings for you grow...again.
so after a while i asked if they grew, he said NO :(
i knew that this would happen.
it was a lose lose situation for me. if i keep talking to him, hell be annoyed and lose interest. but if i dont talk to him, hell still lose interest. i hated it.
then after a more couple of days i asked if he still loved me, he said
" of course sasori, but...not like before"
i began to cry....
i love james so much. i want him back.
pls help me!!!
what should i do???