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This Pain

It started in 2009. I was going on a school trip to Galveston, Texas, and I was pumped. I was going to come out of my shell, and be the awesome girl everyone wanted! The trip was horrible. But you could probably tell that was coming.

When I got back I started to throw up, I know, disgusting. My stomach hurt, my body ached, my mind was on fire, and I felt horrid. It was a sickening pain, and my mother thought it was a virus, but she took me to the doctor anyways. He said I had a virus too, and gave me medicine, but I was still sick, three weeks later I was still throwing up, and I was still in pain.

I was sent to a gastro-intestinal (G.I.) doctor, where I was diagnosed with a parasite. Yuck, a little bug inside me destroying me. And a new set of medicine was given to me. But my body wouldn't tolerate it! It was a mild medicine, but there I was sick and missing the last few weeks of school. I could hardly function. The feelings of pain were unbearable, and at times I wanted to kill myself to make it stop.

When I couldn't tolerate the medicine, the G.I guy decided to do an endoscopy on me. I had damage to my small intestine. He gave me a different medicine, which I could tolerate. At this time it was the beginning of Summer. I started feeling better, not throwing up as much, but it still hurt. Hurt so much...


Hello, July! I'm about to be thirteen! It's my birthday and I'm sick. I'm throwing up non-stop, my pain is becoming something the makes me immobile. Tears are shed, until it seems I'm out of them, and I turn 13 with the worst pain in my life. The doctor decides to do a colonoscopy on me. I do all the prep, and this is the part that will probably make you stop reading the article- I have a huge freaking ball of poop in my colon. EWWWWWWW. You can't imagine how embarrassed it makes me feel that I'm even typing this all down.

I get more medicine, and here I am, still not better. It's the tail end of July, and I get a dual colonoscopy and endoscopy. Super fun... There isn't anything that they can see. So I get sent to eat radioactive eggs that they can monitor inside me. I know what you're thinking “What a freak! How can they not figure out what's wrong??” Well they've ruled out everything, including cancer.

Then I get more and more tests, and more medicine- sonograms, gall-bladder studies, and things I cannot even recall are done.

It's a new school year now, and the pain has made it to where I can't even go. I get put on home-bound teaching, and a registered teacher starts coming to my house twice a week. Woohoo. Then they do surgery on me... I'm so scared. So dreadfully worried. They cut me open, take out my appendix. The surgery pain hurts so much I really do want to kill myself.

Then the surgery pain drifts away, and I've got pain in my left side again. That nagging, disgusting pain. And here we in February, still sick, no medicine working.




I feel helpless so many times with this pain. It's like it's a dark sinister creature, lurking in a dark alley-way, just waiting to pop out and say “Boo!”. Life feels that way too.....I wish someone could share my pain. I wish I wasn't alone. I wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me.




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JustLivingLife said...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 5:09 pm:
Oh my gosh I feel your pain. Last year I was diagnosed with H. Pylori and all I would do is throw up and I couldn't eat and it hurt so bad and it took so long for them to figure out what was wrong with me. I had to miss my class trip and almost couldn't go to my 8th grade graduation. I felt like I was dying because I got so skinny and unhealthy. Hang in there.
 
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