Frozen Memories

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I sat at the desk in my office with nothing but writers block on my mind; my notepad full of nondescript scribbles, the pen heavy in my hand. I tried to remember the last time inspiration saw fit to grace me with its presence, but to no avail. I tried to remember when reading my finished pieces brought joy and also comfort. However - yet again - to no avail. I glanced at the photo frames that littered my work station, trying to pinpoint their significance. When the familiar, frozen faces only coldly stared back, I sat back in the tall armchair, and let my pen fall towards the notepad that still lacked any semblance of legible print. A gentle sigh escaped my chapped, pursed lips, and I closed my eyes in frustration. I’m still unsure of when I began to drift into slumber.




~

“What? Can’t think of anything to say?” he asked her as she had her body turned back towards us, mouth open but quiet. A few seconds passed, and she still hadn’t said anything.
“Yeah, yeah. Just turn back around,” he said. We all laughed together at her expression as she turned and faced her friends again, all red in the face. Albeit, unbeknownst to him, my smile, my laugh, and my carefree expressions were anything but carefree. They were all slight masks to hide the truth I already knew. How could he believe that I wouldn’t notice his affections for this petty, ditzy girl? I knew him better than I knew myself. How could I not notice?
“Your tongue is going to get dry soon,” I said.
“Eh?”
“Because your mouth is running out of drool,” I said with a smirk. I pushed his jaw up and stood, stretching my arms. “You’re lucky she’s such an idiot. She didn’t even notice your tail wagging.” I patted his head and laughed. Though my sarcasm could fool even the sharpest of ears, I couldn’t fool myself. The numbness was becoming all too familiar. I was still getting used to feeling so far away from him, even when we sat thigh against thigh. I forced a yawn to disguise the moisture that began to add to the layer of mascara on my eyelashes, and walked out the door without looking back.

~

I sat up abruptly, wiping the wetness from my face; the after effects of my recent, vivid dream. I glanced back at the frozen reminder I thought I had left in the past, and remembered my reality. I never have, nor ever will, fully heal. The pictures were only a keepsake to refresh my weary soul. But the memory it represents brings an emotion to my heart that no picture can ever capture.





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