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Days passed by after that day in the driveway. Then weeks passed by then months, then even years. My dad was almost like something that you want but you can never have. I wanted to be with my dad so badly but I knew that it would never happen. Eventually, I gave up. I stopped believing, I gave up all hope.
“Dad! Where in the world are we going? We are in the middle of nowhere. I don’t see any malls!” I shouted.
“Calm down Alexa, you will see in a few minutes once we get there,” my dad replied.
“You know I am the most impatient person ever!” I dramatically stated. At eleven years old, I had a very impatient mind. I cringed at the thought about not knowing were we were going. I thought to myself, Wow, are we really like bonding right now? I always say how mad I am at him but are we actually having a father-daughter moment? These thoughts going on in my head almost scared me. When I started to get older and started seeing him less and less, I thought that we would never be the same once we eventually saw each other. I was almost disturbed by the thought so I looked out the window in silence and saw cows grazing the grass, horses gracefully galloping across the wide spread meadows.
“Really Dad? I don’t think we are going to a mall anymore,” I noted.
Frustrated he replied, “Alexa, take a chill pill. We will be there soon.” The moments seemed to move in slow motion, but we finally arrived. We pulled up to
this little white house with blue window panels and a white porch. I turned around and I saw meadows of flowers and wide-open space.
“Um dad? Is it just me or does this not look nothing like a mall,” I asked with confusion.
Before he was able to respond, this lady wearing torn, rugged blue jeans and a red and blue plaid half sleeved shirt ran out, “Gregory. It’s so nice to see you!” She boasted with excitement. “Come on inside. They are waiting for you,” she informed us. I was so confused. I had no idea what was going on. I thought to what does, “they are waiting for you” mean? What is waiting for me? Oh, Maybe a new outfit? I walked inside the beautiful country home. It looked like a normal, American home. In the distance I heard barking.
“Awe do you have a dog?” I asked in envy.
With a large grin on her face she replied, “Yes we do, and you will too.”
Wait! Did she just say that I would have a dog too? I thought to myself. I could feel my palms start to sweat and my cheeks getting flustered. Having a dog is all I have ever wanted. I have been begging my parents for a dog for such a long time. A dog has been on my Christmas list ever since I was at the young age of six. I followed the tan lady into her kitchen. There they were, ten adorable small, black and white terriers. Then I saw her, the one, my puppy. I picked her up and said “Dad, this is her. This is my puppy, Princess.”
When I got Princess, I never really thought about how I might never see her again. Since my parents were divorced, I did not see my dad very often. When we got
home that night I comforted Princess while she desperately cried for her mom. I let her sleep with me so she would stop crying. The next morning I woke up and took Princess outside to do her business. When I walked back inside, my dad was already to go to work. When I saw him all ready for work, I knew immediately what was happening next. I knew that Princess, my baby, would be gone. I could feel my checks becoming pink and my eyes started to water. I knew that if I let her go, right now, she would be gone, gone forever.
“Alexa, I’m sorry but its time for me to take Princess back to my house. Do not worry though, you will see her very soon,” my dad informed me.
“No dad, you can not do that. I want Princess to stay with me forever. Please let her stay,” I shouted in despair. My dad shook his head and he took Princess out of my arms, and started walking to the door and he got in his truck. I struggled to try and keep her in my arms. If I let go of her and let him take her, then that would be the end. “No dad, you can not do this to me! It’s not fair. I love her so much and I want her to stay with me forever. Please, please do not do this!” I cried and tried to run away. He caught me and took Princess out of my arms. I was so weak from crying and all my strength was gone. He had no second thoughts and he started backing out of the driveway. I quickly ran after him crying hysterically. Princess was gone. The one thing that I cared so much was gone at the snap of my fingers. I was star struck and completely stunned.
I was definitely not ready for that upset. He disappointed me so greatly. After that day, I thought that I never wanted to see him again and I also thought that I didn’t love him because of what he did to me this time. I had these thoughts for a really long time. It was really wrong of me to think that just because someone did
something wrong or something I did not approve of, that I could possible love him less. Now that I reflect and think about that day, I think that I loved him with limits.
Another time I think that I loved him with limits was two years ago, when I was twelve, I went over to my great grandma’s to see my dad. My mom drove my brother and I over to West University to see my Dad. My
Mom told my brother and I that my dad had a turtle that he found in a creek in Oklahoma. My brother was definitely more excited then I was because at the time he was in love with turtles. I did not care as much for the turtle I just wanted to see my grandma and I guess I wanted to see my dad too but I have always had mixed feelings about him. When we pulled up in the driveway, I saw my grandma waiting there for us. When we got closer, my dad’s truck was not there.
“Grandma! Hi. How are you? I missed you,” I exclaimed.
“Hello Alexa, I missed you too and I’m doing well” she replied. I could tell that something was wrong. Her response was not so convincing.
“Grandma! Where is my turtle? And where is dad?” my younger brother Grant yelped with excitement.
With a parched throat, she managed to clearly get out these words, “I have some unfortunate news. Your dad is not here. I’m really sorry.” When she finished her sentence, I ran to the car and immediately started crying. I could not believe what had just happened. I was so miserable. Once again, my heart was broken. I had finally gotten over what had happened with Princess, and now this? It was unbelievable. How many times can one person break my heart? I thought. After he did not show up, I gave up. I no longer had any faith or trust in him. I was so mad at him I thought I would never forgive him. I hopped in the car and I did not make the slightest of a noise on the way home, except for faint sighs and cries. My mom tried to talk to me while I wiped the tears from my face. When I got home, I instantaneously ran upstairs straight to my room and slammed the door. I sat and cried in my room for hours.
I have now realized that with every heartbreak, it makes you grow stronger. When I lost Princess, I was so disappointed in him and it took me a very long time to forgive him. However, now that I forgave him, I have grown stronger and dealt with the situation. Now that it has been about two years since the last time I saw him, I have learned yet another lesson. If I had stayed mad at him forever, I would not be able to live my life to its fullest. I would have been limited and I would think about this everyday. Now, I can go a week without thinking about this situation. Forgiveness is the key to moving on with your life.