Friends forever?

January 8, 2010
By , Houston, TX
After nine years at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, it was the last day of my eighth grade year. It was also the last day of life, as I knew it. Everything was about to change. I thought the bonds I made with everyone would never break. Little did I know, to keep that strong friendship you have to spend a lot of time and put a ton of effort into it.

I had grown up with the same people my whole life. They were my best friends and I thought it would be like that forever, no matter where life took us. Summer was gone… it was the first week of school. I had still only kept in touch with two people. All my friends and I had promised each other we would stay in touch; we had planned on calling each other every night. But still no one called. How could Connor and Victoria be the only people in my whole grade to keep in touch with me? It didn’t make sense. I was crushed! The people I had shared everything with couldn’t spend a few minutes to call me or write an email… or even take a few seconds to send me a text. Ten people had broken their promise. My best friends, the people that meant the world to me didn’t even care to include me in their life or even ask how I was doing.
Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? I had no idea what to think. The people who knew me better than I probably knew myself didn’t care about me anymore. Or was it always that way? Was I too blind to see it? Did they ever really care about me? I had so many questions that I didn’t know the answer to, and that I would never know the answer to. It was too late. I had lost all my friends that I had ever had. What was I going to do?
For about two weeks I came home crying every day after school. Tears would start streaming down my face the minute I walked in the door. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t really know anyone. When I was trying to meet new people I was so shy, and it didn’t help that everyone had their own little groups and it didn’t seem like they needed or wanted anyone else. I told myself over and over again to just worry about schoolwork and I didn’t need any friends. But I was so sad all the time. I wanted to talk to some of my SEAS (St. Elizabeth Ann Seton) friends. I knew I hadn’t really talked to any of them but I didn’t care. I wanted to talk to Connor so bad! But I couldn’t, he was the one who ruined my friendship with Bianca.
Bianca was my best friend for nine years. She knew everything there was to know about me and I knew everything there was to know about her. I saw her six days a week for about five of the nine years I had known her. We were on the same soccer team, in the same class, had the same friends, and she felt like my sister. Until one day I realized she took advantage of me, she used me, I could not trust her, and she felt better when she made me feel bad. That is not how a person should treat their best friend. It took me nine years to realize that but eventually I did. I wasn’t about to waste any more of my time on her. When she started dating my ex-boyfriend my realization of who she was began.
I have liked the same guy since kindergarten, Connor. Everyone knew we were supposed to be together. When we were little we were on the same soccer team and our parents are really good friends. Over the years we became best friends. He was the sweetest, most charming guy I knew. I had dated him for about two years. At the end of 7th grade I noticed he started to change. His parents were having twins, and his whole character just went downhill. I tried talking to him about it, but he always avoided the subject. Why didn’t he trust me? We had told each other everything. What was different about this time? Trust is extremely important to me. If I can’t trust someone I can’t have a strong friendship with him or her. A month went by. He still wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I decided to stop trying. We broke up. My heart felt heavy, my gut was telling me there was something wrong and I felt empty without him. He was the only person I could ever completely trust. That is when I started to lose my best friend. Connor started to date other people but everyone knew he never got over me. First he dated my friend, Andrea. Second he dated Bianca. Third he dated my other friend, Macy. After that he dated my worst enemy, Ellen.
While he was dating Bianca we started to become friends again. It was not the same perfect friendship we had before but at least it was something. He was always around me. He asked me out a few times but I always said no. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship again. We both liked each other. He wrote and dedicated love songs to me. I didn’t understand if he liked me why he dated other people. Then one day we were in study hall and the teacher had stepped out of the room for a minute. Bianca was sitting right next to me and I looked over at her, her and Connor were kissing! My jaw dropped and my cheeks turned bright red. I didn’t know if it was a dream or real life. Jealousy and anger filled my entire body. What is happening? How could they do that to me? Were the two people I was closest to stabbing me in the back?
Then he broke up with her. At that point in time I didn’t realize how disappointed I was in my best friends. Even though she stole his first kiss from me, I was a good friend and stayed by her side. A couple months later he kissed my worst enemy, Ellen. How could she get her first kiss before I got mine? And how could he do that? How could he have kissed her less than an hour after he had dedicated the song “Far Away” by Nickelback to me. Why did he keep doing this to me?
The thing that hurt the most was that he never even tried to kiss me. And he told me he loved me. It didn’t make any sense. What was he thinking? Honestly by this time I didn’t want him to kiss me. I didn’t want to remember my first kiss with a guy who had his first kiss with my best friend. So I asked, “Why do you keep kissing other girls when you repeatedly tell me you love me?”
“I respect you way to much,” he replied. I will never know if that’s the real reason but I don’t want to lose a true friend over something as silly as a first kiss. True friends are hard to come by and when you find one you need to put all of your strength and effort into keeping it strong. Sometimes you might need them to be taken away to see how important they really are to you. I realized a friendship takes two people to work so I shouldn’t give up easily. It won’t always be pleasant but if they mean a lot to you and you think it’s worth it you will have to make sacrifices.

(Connor and I stayed best friends. I talk to him every single day. He is a great guy who made a few bad choices, but that does not determine who he is.)

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madmadie22 said...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Aww, I think this is very cute. I'm glad you and Connor worked things out, and good job describing everything that happened.  I'm a little confused at why none of your other friends were talking to you, though.  Ah well, it was pretty good, I hope you write some more :)
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