It's Not Always the Stepmother

January 11, 2010
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They say that the stepmother is always the mean one, but that is not always the case. Why does the mom always die? I would think when I was five, for me it was just my mom and I. I could never think of not having a mother. My stepdad seems nice but for Cinderella the stepmom turned bad, so what if it’s the same with stepdads? These are the thought that ran through my nine year old head when I heard that Chad would become my new dad. I hope he knows that my bio-dad is my real daddy and that Chad will never love me more than him. Bio-dad was my biological father and this thought had me very worried when I was eleven and twelve.

Yay! I get to have a daddy! I think he’ll do a good job as a step in. This was the only thought I had as I was walking down the short isle behind the maid of honor, my aunt Kiki; I was my mom’s other bride’s maid and I was gleaming with joy to get a stepdad. He seemed to fit the newer profile of being changed from Chad to dad. I used to get mad that he was always with my mom and I didn’t get to be with her as often as I use to, but I blew it off because now he was my stepdad.
“I’m pregnant.” My mom told me two months after her wedding. At first I thought that that would be great. I would always tell my mom that I wanted a baby brother because they are more fun then girls, baby brothers seemed like the kind of sibling that you’ll get along better with and have the best time with, but God had a different plan for me. On May 21, 2005 I got a tiny, fragile little sister and that’s where it all happens. Chad treats her like she is the queen, I can’t believe that he treats her like she’s more important then my mom, his wife! and I. This is what went through my mind every time Chad would ask me to get her something they both could easily get. I love my Lauren but I don’t love the way she gets treated by Chad. Lauren is my little sister’s name and she was all I heard him talk about. Chad, an artist that is moody like a cat, even drew a picture of our family, which he never does, and the only reason he drew it was because Lauren would be in it and she was the star and I looked like a sulking kid in the back that hates the world.
“Lauren, let’s go potty before you get ready for bed.” I suggest to Lauren, my three grandparents, mother, and Chad.
“Good idea,” they all say back. Lauren and I skip inside and then we were trapped. I ran to the door, squeaked it shut, as to not be heard, and hurriedly turned on the T.V. so that Lauren couldn’t hear the screaming and slamming of things that I had never heard make the sound before. My mom’s voice sounded hoarse from crying, Chad as well, my grandmother shrieked at Chad’s parents; then it went quiet. What just happened? Don’t cry Ashley. You need to be strong to face what’s outside that door. You can do it. So I walk out the door and I see my mom come up the stairs, her eyes blood red from crying and screaming, then my grandmother, trailing behind, attempting to persuade her to stay here and not leave, so we stayed. The next day my mom, Lauren, and I went home and for two months we didn’t hear anything from Chad. School ended and I was at a school camp; it was there anniversary and they were just starting to talk again (Chad was staying at his parent’s house in Austin and we were at home in Houston). While they were separated I was in the dark worrying, was I the cause of the fight? Could I have done anything different? I wish I knew what to do.
Chad started coming to the house then, he and my mom would talk, fight, and he would leave on Monday and go to work in Austin; before the fight Chad lost his Houston job and started working in Austin; he would come home on the weekends and he and I always found a way to fight about something. When my mom would leave I would have to take her place cooking and watching Lauren on the weekends, my social life plummeting.
Everything at home had finally settled down but not for me. I held in all my anger and then finally figured out how to let it all go, I’m going to go on a hunger strike until Chad finally notices that I need things too, not just Lauren. So I didn’t eat, no snacks, and no dinner that night.
“I eat a lot at lunch and don’t feel very good so I’m not going to eat dinner. Is that okay mom?” I asked my mom that night.
“Yeah that’s cool. I hope you feel better.” My mom absentmindedly replied. So I didn’t eat. When I was packing for school I told my mom I was going to buy lunch and at school I ate nothing. My friends were seriously concerned, so I eat dinner that night. Chad learned nothing and all I got was an empty stomach.
What starts well doesn’t all ways end well. My story with my stepdad and I has taught me things that I have used in my day-to-day life. In eighth grade I was in a friendship of five girls, we all got into an enormous fight, I wish this would all just end and we could all be friends again, I would think as we would get into fights; I soon decided to learn to forgive and forget everything that had happened during the months of the fight. I am friends with all of them but since they all could not forgive and forget they are in groups of friends.
This attitude changing experience has taught me many things that I have used in my everyday life. Chad and I are not arguing as much anymore and we are working on how to get along better. The knowledge that I have acquired from my thoughts of He is the worst then later I get that he is here so I’ll just deal with it that have evolved to the new thoughts of Just forgive him and don’t bring up the past, have given me this idea has been transferred from my home experience to my everyday life experience.





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