My Family Ties

December 14, 2009
By Alison Olsen BRONZE, Evansville, Indiana
Alison Olsen BRONZE, Evansville, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Sometimes when I look at other families, I see how much fun they are having with each other, and I become jealous. I always dread of a big family, but somehow over the years mine started getting smaller. Watching different families together makes me wish for mine to get back together. At the age of twelve, my mother and father got a divorce, and at fourteen, I moved away from my father and brother. I feel like I lost a part of my family since my parents divorced. At first, I only got to see my dad every other weekend and on Wednesdays, but now I do not see my day but two weeks a year and I went from seeing my brother everyday to not seeing him at all. Growing up without a father figure changed my life, and I lost a lot of quality time with my brother and dad. Now I appreciate all the time I spend with them.

In the sixth grade, my mother told me about the divorce, and at first, I did not think much about it. Eventually it hit me hard. Never hearing my parents fight, it shocked me to hear about them splitting up, because I never realized how unhappy they were with each other. Luckily, my parents kept my brother and me far away from their troubles. I finally accepted the fact that my parents were done when my father moved out. My mother thought my brother and I were severely affected by the divorce, so she too us to see a counselor. Even though we did not want to see the counselor, my mother forced us anyways. During the session, the counselor asked me to draw a picture of my family, and not knowing who to include in the picture, I avoided drawing it all together. A picture of a flower seemed more interesting to me, but the counselor thought otherwise. I did not realize how much my father moving out affected me. I just blew off my problems like I did drawing that picture of my family. Originally the loss of my dad was not so significant to me because I still got to see him, but as time went on, I soon lost quality time with my dad.

The custody arrangement with my parents soon got annoying because it became inconvenient for me. I felt bad hanging with my friends when it became time for me to spend time with my dad, but I hung out with them anyways. When my dad told me I needed to stay home, I got aggravated because I missed plans with my friend. The one day my mother told me we were moving to Indiana changed my life. I was excited to see a new start and meet new people, but my dad did not like this news. He tried to stop my mother from moving and taking his kids with her, but it did not stop us from moving away. My mother did feel awful for taking us away from my dad. Since I was above fourteen, the court stated I may choose who I wanted to live with, but my brother did not get this option. My mom made a hard decision to let my brother stay with my dad, and my selfishness now makes me wish I spent more time with them.

I used to see my dad everyday, but now I only get to see him two or three weeks a year. We still frequently talk on the phone, but I miss spending time with the whole family. When I do see my dad, he definitely spoils me, and I appreciate everything he does. Even though I still stay in contact with my family, I feel like I am not as close to the as I wish. My brother and I rarely speak anymore, and I miss him a lot. I feel like he misses out my guidance I offer. Looking at my friends’ families, I become jealous on how their parents managed to stay together. I know my mother tries to do best for out family, but I still feel like I lost time that I can never get back. I question the possibility for families to stay together anymore because my family became another victim of the rapidly increasing divorce rate. I miss my old family, and losing a part of my family so early changed my views on life, but I respect my mother’s decision. She tried to do what seemed right for her children and I supported whatever she chose.

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