When people tell me to tell them what i think love really means i tell them i have no clue. I've been hurt so much and i really don't have a clue anymore. My one true love the one who i wanted to be with always is the one who almost killed me. I was 15 and he was 17. We both were in love and we didn't care about the age difference. He made me feel like one in a million until; that one nightt. We had got in a fight because he had become controlling; i couldn't go out, i couldn't wear certain things i got u[set yes and the first time he hit me i forgave him because i was only 15 and i thought that was the right thing. I was scared to see him again. I was scared for what might happen next but i put that behind me and he came to pick me up again the next day. He took me into the desert and turned to me and said it wasn't going to work out anymore. I didn't know what to say but start crying. He told me not to worry we would die together and then my heart stopped. I didn't know what he meant but at that moment i knew something was going to happen. I tried talking to him to settle thing out but nothing. I jumped out of the truck and walked away. I could smell the alcohol on him. I couldn't believe him. I got a ride home and didn't hear from him till the next day. I didn't tell my parents anything. He called me at lunch that day and wanted to talk and me being me forgave him and jumped right back into that truck. We went out to eat and yet again i could smell the alcohol. I was scared and watched what i said but he got mad when i told him i wanted him to take me home. He hit me and hit me.I didn't do anything. I didn't tell anyone. I stayed quit. I let this happen to me for 4 months. Until it finally got bad and i got the guts to leave. It's been six month's since i left him & seen him. I swear im going to learn from this relationship. I know i was young and dumb and didn't know what to do. I've learned to be strong and defend myself. He was my first true love, My first heartbreak and the first time i got hurt. I know it may be hard to leave but im glad i did because i know i wouldn't be here if i didn't.
October 17, 2009