Why are you doing this to yourself? All the pain you are feeling right now, it's YOUR fault. It's not his. It would have made sense to blame him for your pain about 10 FREAKING MONTHS AGO! That is almost a YEAR! By now, you should have moved on with your life. It's never going to work again. I know this is sounding really harsh, but it's getting to the point where that's all I can do to make you see. It was a HIGH SCHOOL FLING! What did you think? That it was going to last forever. I know, I know, it was your "first love" and you can never see yourself falling for any other guy. YOU ARE SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, finding your soul mate should be one of the last things on your mind, along with the boy who broke your heart. The first step in getting over this whole "Where did we go wrong?" bull s***, don't try to deny that you sit up at night wondering what you could of done to make him stay in love with you. Kid, you did all you could. You took your chances and loved that kid with all your heart, if that wasn't good enough for him then @$^* him! Someday, you are going to meet someone who is going to make this "first love" look like a toad! You are going to laugh at yourself as you look back on this "heartbreak". I think we should declare last night the final time you hurt because of that situation. When he mentioned his girlfriend, it felt like someone took a giant vacuum and sucked all the air out of the room. That was when it REALLY hit you that he has moved on and you haven't. We both know you don't want to be that girl. You don't want to be the ex-girlfriend who gets laughed at by the both of them because you can't get over it. So the first thing I want you to do when you get home is delete all the emails that you secretly have saved. Those letters are old, he doesn't love you anymore. It's NEVER going to work again. So stop thinking if you delete them, you will get back together and you won't have anything to read at your 50th wedding anniversary. Once you do that, I want you to go into a room where no one can hear you and call him every name that comes to your mind. After you think all the anger is gone. I want you to say this out loud "I forgive you". NO, I don't want you to text or call him and say it. HE DOESN'T CARE! He has a different life now. When you do all that, I want you to go on living your life. You are a strong kid and someday you will realize that.
Letter To Self
October 2, 2009