The worst day of school

April 20, 2009
By Erin Bollendorf BRONZE, Hatboro, Pennsylvania
Erin Bollendorf BRONZE, Hatboro, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The Worst Day of School


It was a cold and windy fall day. I was in fourth grade in my old school Saint John Bosco. I hopped out of the car “Bye Mom!” I yelled as she drove away. I ran in the front doors and saw my friends waiting for me. “Hi guys!” I said “Hi!” my friends said and we started to walk down the hallway to our classroom. The hallway was so loud as always and you could barley hear yourself think. My friend Casey said to me “Erin, your shoe is untied.” “I will tie it when we get in the classroom, thanks though.” I replied. Well, I was wrong.

We were still walking in the hallway down to my class and my friend Jenny Baumer was telling us jokes. As we were walking and laughing I stepped on my shoelace and fell on my face. ”Are you okay Erin?” my friends asked me. Well I wasn’t because I had a bloody nose and blood got on my uniform. I looked up from the floor and I saw that everyone was staring at me. I got up tied my shoe, put my backpack back on my back, and ran to my classroom. I didn’t say anything to my friends. I put my stuff at my desk when I got in the classroom, got a tissue for my nose, and went up to the teacher and asked for a nurse’s pass to get my nose cleaned up. I started to walk down the hallway and I saw my friends I walked right by because and I didn’t say anything to them. They were laughing and I thought they were laughing at me so I didn’t talk to them for the rest of the morning.

During lunch they came up to me and asked “So how is your nose?” “Fine!” I yelled “I saw you laughing at me when I was on my way to the nurse.” “We weren’t laughing at you Jenny told another joke.” My friends said “O well I was mad at you because I thought you were laughing at me. I’m sorry do you guys forgive me?” “Yes we forgive you. But next time you should ask us before you assume something.” My friends said “Ok guys do you want to go outside and play soccer?” I asked “Sure!” they said and then we went outside to play soccer with everyone else.


The author's comments:
i hope people will be able to see my writing piece because i put effort forward to right this.

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This article has 10 comments.


on Nov. 9 2017 at 6:24 pm
Keep going you're doing your best what up this is the best

zee11 said...
on Nov. 25 2011 at 8:10 am
zee11, Kandy, Other
0 articles 0 photos 17 comments
good writing!guess it needs a little more work on it :)

on Oct. 9 2011 at 3:41 pm
It was pretty interesting. But the title is being pretty drastic. Also, it felt like it was building up to some huge confrontation or some big event where everything went wrong. So I was disappointed when you guys just went outside to play soccer. I think it would have better if you made it into something with a moral. At the end you could have said something like "Don't make quick assumptions, because you could be completely wrong" or something like that. Maybe changethe title too? I don't know, it has the potential to be a great piece, and I really like your style up until the last paragraph! Keep writing!

on Mar. 25 2011 at 9:29 pm
Someone_Who_Is_Loved GOLD, Mount Forest, Other
10 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
This quote is one I made up.....
"You can't climb a mountian without a harness." It means that you can't go where you want to get in life without the help of your friends or family.

Great piece :)

Check out my work? Id really appreciate it :) Thanks


on Feb. 9 2011 at 6:52 pm
redpanda26 SILVER, Chevy Chase, Maryland
5 articles 5 photos 51 comments
the title doesnt fit, the day really doesnt sound bad... also work on your transitions but this is a good idea

on Oct. 18 2010 at 5:29 pm
sOmE_nIgHtS SILVER, Wayne, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
Yes it's hard to write, but it's harder not to.

very good piece, though I have to agree, it needs a few touches.

on Apr. 29 2010 at 10:33 pm
mcpanicfanic SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 65 comments
obvioulsy, this girl is very young. it is a good piece and good writing. keep it up!

on Nov. 26 2009 at 3:21 am
caitlin.calamity BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.
-Bruce Barton

You could be a very talented writer if you practice, practice, practice. :) You are very good with details. Your sentence structure could be improved but it is still very good. A rule of grammar: Always make new paragraphs when you use dialogue. Each new piece of dialogue spoken by a different person should become a new paragraph. For example:

The worst day I ever had started off with a cold and windy morning. Everything was going fine. That is until my friend, Casey, noticed my shoe was untied.

"Erin, your shoe is untied."

"That's okay. I'll tie it when we get in class."

I find it makes things look more polished and professional. Which is probably the reason it's a rule. Keep writing. Don't ever get discouraged by something you write but hate. NEVER EVER EVER throw away anything you write. Even if you hate it. It may give you some inspiration in the future or help you to realize how far you've come in developing your own style of writing.

on Nov. 4 2009 at 11:28 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

Really good piece, but it could still use some work. :)

on Sep. 7 2009 at 7:36 pm
coolieo!!!

on Sep. 5 2009 at 5:24 pm
This was a very good start. I most definitely see room for potential, abd I really appreciated how personal this experience was. You chose an event that most readers are able to relate on, communication between friends.




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