Dear, Me 

I know you don’t get it.

I know you don’t get the incessant frustration stemming from the lack of social interaction. I know you don’t get the perpetual rollercoaster of emotions of living through a global pandemic. I know you don’t get the political turmoil over the simplicity of human decency. And I know that all of the “I don’t-get-it-ness” is taking a toll on your mental health.

I am writing you this letter to stop you; stop you from not only the mental damage you are doing unto yourself, but the mental damage your conscience has allowed you to reap.

You are currently living through a time in history that will be notorious for its global turmoil and devastation. COVID-19 has raged throughout our country especially due to the governing (or lack thereof) of our short-sided, current political leaders. The discrepancies of Black Lives Matter, BIPOC, and women’s rights have been recently reborn into a new light, yet is still being debated over despite its sole request for human equality. 

You are currently living through a stage in your life in which you are susceptible to societal pressures and expectations. The stress you (and I’m sure all your peers) are experiencing is indisputable. 

You’d consider yourself to be a kind person. For one, you consistently prioritize kindness and preach it to others. Then let’s take a look at some of the unkind things you’ve said:

“Idiot, why did you do that.”

“You look ugly, you’d look better if you looked like her.”

“You’re so stupid, shut up, what’s wrong with you.”

They’re brutal. And to think you’ve said all of these things not to others, but yourself does not diminish their significance. Words have an impact no matter their source, no matter their target. If you’d never express these thoughts to others, why burden yourself with them? If kindness truly takes precedence for you, then you must practice this through your self-treatment.

Instead of “Idiot, why did you do that,” try “We all make mistakes, I’ll learn from it for next time.”

Instead of “You look ugly, you’d look better if you looked like her,” try “I won’t always feel my best but I’m working towards loving who I am.”

Instead of “You’re so stupid, shut up, what’s wrong with you,” try “Today’s not my day and I think something’s off with me. I’m gonna take a break.”

You have enabled the voice in your head to verbally degrade and diminish your self-worth and confidence. Imagine seeing one of your friends being verbally attacked, and instead of stepping in, you let it happen. You wouldn’t accept being that person to others, so why be that person to yourself?

You don’t give yourself enough credit. You can be appreciative yet upset, blessed yet struggling, thankful yet worried at the same time. Don’t let your conscience tell you that your feelings are not valid. That would be doing a disservice to not only yourself, but the people around you and the people you love.

Someone understands. In reality, most everyone understands the feeling of insurmountable pressure placed on them through societal standards, school or work, or just personal insecurities. Sometimes you can become your own worst enemy and criticize yourself for reacting to these pressures. When this happens, talk to yourself as though you were talking to a loved one. Reassure yourself that your feelings affect your wellbeing and there are solutions to dealing with them.

There will be confusion. There will be anger. There will be frustration. Your journey to a mentally healthy place does not come without effort, but no good thing was ever achieved without effort. So although it’s toilsome, believe me, I get it, it’s achievable and it starts with you.

I get it. Don’t let it get to you.

With love, Me.