Finding the Missing Love

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I am 17 years old now. My grandfather died last year around March. I never got to see him as much last year.

My childhood was grandfatherless. Being grandfatherless is living without your grandfather because either he died, left, or was never around. Even though I had a grandfather on my dad’s side, it still didn’t feel right.

Have you ever put a puzzle together and had a missing piece?

Growing up without one of your grandparents gives you a missing piece to a puzzle. You might be sad or misguided. Not having one of your grandparents can somehow mislead you. That grandparent could make everything seem okay in your life. It could probably stop all of your troubles. It could bring happiness instead of guilt or SHAME. It is almost the same as not having one of your parents.

My mom said,”Jay, do you want to go see your granddad?”

I then answered ”yeah.”

I only saw my grandfather about 2 times before seeing him for the first time in 2010. I stood there looking scared because I hadn’t seen him in a long time. He didn’t look that much different to me than he did before. He was the same old granddad. I was pretty surprised that he remembered me. He started out by calling me “baby triny” when my mom asked, “do you know who that is?” He thought I looked like my mom when she was younger.

I said quietly to myself, “did I really look like her because I don’t now.”

For the next couple of months he was back and forth from the nursing home to the hospital. My family tried to be humble with the nursing home staff. The staff would stand around conversing about us on the slick side when we visited him, complaining about the new problems that we would discover. They didn’t care for the residents like they should have.

They neglected him.

He’d get sick and be sent back to the hospital. The hospital would always send him back in a better condition. It seemed like every week something new was wrong.

Is that even supposed to happen?

My family was angry and disgusted.

Then, that call came where he was in the hospital and they were trying to revive him.

He didn’t make it.

We got to the hospital and I couldn’t take looking at his deceased body. I walked out of the room and all I could do was cry. I asked myself “why?” Why did they treat him so bad?

I honestly feel like if they would have done their job, he would probably still be here today. Even with all the drugs in his past before cleaning up, I think he would have lived. He suffered because he was neglected. All of the neglect also resulted in making him unable to speak so we’d have to decide things for him.

I wondered how they would feel if that happened to one of their family members.

Would they be so careless then?

Trying to fix his problems let him live but the more we did, the less they cared and he eventually gave in.

Even though I didn’t spend much time with my grandfather, I got a chance to heal something that I had been searching for. All I had to do was sit there by his side and I felt okay. It made him feel better too. Before he was unable to speak, he said that he wanted to do better. But was he given that chance? No. Careless people ruined his chance.

I would encourage others to at least get along with their grandparents. I’m sure that they would be pleased. Even if it isn’t a grandparent or parent, get to know someone who doesn’t have anyone.

It could make better for the both of you.

Yes, I found the missing love in my life.





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