My Monsters

Why did I have to loose you? We entered this world with one person to be with and when I lost you I sat down on the grey comforter of my bed and layed back to escape the external fabrication of a fantasy we call life. And in just one small moment I disappeared down the rabbit hole of my mind through a million small capsules into a psychedelic world that was seemingly unreal. That was all it took  to set me free.


I can finally breath and it feels as if an anvil has been lifted of my chest. I look around and I'm in a rolling sea of green grass and there are hints of color that are the wildflowers exploding upward through the heavy green in order to get the last bit of sun before night falls. The landscape and forest of the weeping willows are so dense you can barely see past a few feet ahead from the tree line. The beauty of it all is perfect but I question it now.
Night Is starting to fall and the small twinkles of light that look to be stars but are really fireflies envelope the sky causing it to look like the universe is right in front of me. The whisper of the wind telling secrets to all the life around me is sending a chill through and up my spine. Goosebumps cascade over my arms as the golden wisps of my hair fly around my face making to what looks like a halo. But as the night grows older and the fireflies duck into the bushes for the night an unsettling howl of the wind escapes the jaws of the earth. I knew the beauty of everything was just a mask  to hide  chilling, unruly demons that I hide.


My own monsters approach me through the branches of the trees and burst at me with such force they knock me down into the sea of grass., only it's not grass I'm in water and I'm being forced under. While gasping for air I glup down water and I can feel my lungs filling with fluid. I escape from the death grip of my inner monsters and push to the surface.


I shoot up gasping for air and find myself in the dark breathing heavy trying to catch my breath. I Realize my face is soaked with tears that are flowing in a never ending waterfall and when I go to lay back down I'm not in my bed anymore. I’m in a white room, with white walls, white floors, and my ears are being filled with a rhythmic beeping noise. I've tried and tried again but I end up in the same room. I wouldnt be here if I hadn't lost you.






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