Young Love



Love. Love is what fuels the emotions of Adolescents everywhere. It is what inspires us. They say that love conquers all. I find that to be true. It can take control of our actions and, for the young adolescent I am, I find that the only way to burry your feelings deep is to have good self-control.
I find myself attracted to one person in particular at my new school. I find myself rather pitying myself for allowing this kind of affection. Yet, the experience is delightful; I want it to stay longer. The more I am induced the longer I want it to last. The longer I want it to last the more I am induced. So you can tell by this, it is kind of a cycle that is hard to stop. I try to thrive on self-control all the time and yet, it gets weak when I even get near her. My mind sinks into a time of relentless adoration. I want to stop but, something is keeping me there stuck in a daze.
I should know by now that this will never happen. I have had friends before. You know guys going out to party, but nothing with a girl. I have contention written in my deepest thoughts. I have befriended some girls, but only as partners for projects that are of importance.
At the schools I have been to, there has always been controversy among the students that I have had a crush on some girl. Those statements, I am glad to for myself, they are false. I have shown hatred for their gossip and reacted belligerently in some cases. The very thought of love disturbed me back then. But now, my transformation into adulthood has torn my old morals (you are too young to love someone) to shreds and in place created a more insecure mind in which is distracting me from my ambitions. So by this I am figuratively tearing myself apart. I am making myself a stranger to me.
In this instance of changing my self to a stranger I find this love uncontrollable. Like a beast becoming more agitated the more it is concealed in the confined space. I feel that this is not the end and the beast will soon engulf me and that reckless desires will overcome my sense of judgment.
I am going through a chain reaction that was decided by my aging body. It is releasing the different substances that make my new growing body tick. I am yet enjoying this newly formation. The love I feel, I know, isn't mutual but, indulging into this mysterious entity is something that is priceless.
Everyday I feel light headed and dreary when I see her. I feel like I should tell but, can't summon up the courage to do so. The events are going by so fast I can't catch up. It is like time has sped up and the days get shorter. I don't know if the experiences are always like this, but it is for me. Uncontrollable, relentless, desirable these are the feelings I take in when I see her. Now I know what it is like being a teen.