The death of my aunt was the most devastating conflict i've ever experienced and had to overcome.As a little girl my aunt was always there for me. when there was no way, she would make away. My aunt was someone you would love to be around. she was the most encouraging, smart, compassinate, unique, and understanding woman that ever lived.she was everyone's role model.I didn't make any friend my age beacuse i thoung my aunt would always be there for me. But boy was i wrong.on a very hot friday when i came from school, my grandma told me that my aunt was dead. I thought she was playing. I couldn't believe her. I wanted to slap her so she can shut up. I really couldn't believe it. My aunt, the most wonderful, the only one that understand me, and wrost of all, my only friend. I couldn't believe she was dead. I couldn't get over the fact that i was never going to see any more. I was crushed, demolished, and i felt like my heart was broken into million of pieces and was set on fire. I could feel the tears coming down my face like someone just wasted a bucket of water o my face. For a second i felt like i was the only one on earth. everything was white. No color; nothing, but just a big empty white blank space.I had alot of say. It was like someone was blowing a balloon of word to say. But when i open my mouth, there was nothing coming out. I tried again and still nothing. What was going on with me. I couldn't talk, no one could hear me. I try screaming but nothing was heard. I was terrified. I was bioling inside.when you touch me you might probably get cooked. Then it came to me, i was my aunt being there all the time. Aparently my aunt was the only one i could talk to because i knew she'll understand me and she won't tell no any one.I couldn't talk because i was only used to talking to my aunt about everything, and now that she's not here i can't talk. It's like she took my voice when she died. It was true, i really lost my voice. Days came and pass and there was no sign of me talking, weeks came and pass; still nothing.While my grandma and other relative are cooking hot soup for me to drink, my sister did the most thoughtful thing ever.My sister sat with me and explained about a time she lost someone she really cared about too. then she went on saying "matter of fact still love that person". then she said one thing that made me feel guilty. she said " you can't turn your back on everyone because aunty died". "she my aunt too. I felt bad, i felt like i didn't belong there. At that time i wished i could talk. I know i couldn't, i've been trying for month now and still not saying i mean nothing at all. But i give it a try anyway. But this time i talke!. i actually talked!!!. it was astonishing. I couldn't believe it, Im talking again.this experience actually made me stringer. I now realized that when you loose someone you love, just keep them i your heart and they'll always be there when you need them.Everything that sge taught me he kindness, understanding, and loving heart. Those some can never forget. Im very happy that i ahd the chance to be with her.
the great silence
October 29, 2008