Breakup Letter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

December 6, 2008
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Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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XxhestersgirlxX said...
Jun. 29, 2009 at 7:55 pm
haha! that is too funny (:
darkatheart14 said...
May 20, 2009 at 4:12 pm
amazing and a half!
you broke his heart lol
Yesenia R. said...
May 12, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Haha. I remember reading this article. :) lol. It is oh so very true how a lot of ppl, teens especially, tend to get addicted to all these websites now and days. =) lol. Great article! Love it. Keep up the good work! (:
PeaceLovePiggy said...
May 6, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Hahahahahaha!! LMBO! Very creative, and I too, have felt this way before, which makes it all teh more funny!
Katie S. said...
Apr. 18, 2009 at 1:14 am
ha i loved it(: It was funny(:
Rebecca24 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 29, 2009 at 6:24 am
Haha, that was lovely. Keep it up :)
Steffnee said...
Mar. 28, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I loved this! (: It was cute and entertaining. Keep writing. :D
ckalani said...
Mar. 27, 2009 at 1:11 am
That was really good. Inspiring! You should wright more! Very entertaining. Check out some of my work and tell me what you think ... please!
Ellie A. said...
Mar. 17, 2009 at 5:41 am
very entertaining!!! I love it!
Burnttoast said...
Mar. 16, 2009 at 2:52 pm
That is amazing. [:
AnAuthenticAuthor2B said...
Mar. 2, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Ha, I loved it! I wish computers could read and understand, because I would want to send them half a dozen of those letters! Great creativity!
tweedle dee said...
Mar. 2, 2009 at 2:08 am
ha ha funny!
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