Im sorry I need to go my own way

January 2, 2008
High school friendships are hard because you realize that your time is limited with each other however you do not realize that everything is intensified. There are now relationship and jobs and extra circular activities that get in the way and which can sometimes pull people apart. However the key is to stay centered and focus. To not wander off the path you have chosen.

It was this year when I had to make the hard decision I have ever ha to make in my life so far. When I had to figure out whether to take back a friendship with a person that I held dear to my heart since 7th grade when we met or stick with my morals on what is right and what is wrong. It started on homecoming we were all looking for a place to just relax after and unwind. My close group of friends had been through so much unneeded drama already this year and it was only October of senior year. So we just wanted to find a place where we could all go where no lines were being crossed and no feet being stepped on. Well everything we came up with seemed to only leave us with more drama that I just no longer was interested in dealing with. So I came up with the idea to have everyone just come and chill at my house it seemed like I good idea until I asked my parents they were not to keen on one of my friends and they held nothing back when they talked about her. This girl happened to be Chrissy. Chrissy is a wild child who gets away with everything literally. She could rob a bank and nothing would happen her parents do not put themselves in the authority figures spot. Therefore making Chrissy feel like she could do anything and be able to get out of it. My mother did not like me hanging around with her she felt that she would bring me down. I often would stand up for her against my parents and totally defend her to get nothing in return. I was beginning to see for the first time the true person in said Chrissy and I was not like what she was doing or the fact that I was siding with my parents. But I put my feeling of anger and hate a side think that maybe the real Chrissy or at least the Chrissy I knew and loved would com back but nothing seemed to be changing.

As homecoming approached fast then every we were still scrambling to find a house that everyone would be welcomed at. Everyone who offered up hospitality seemed to have rules and people from our close group would be able to hang out with us. Then my house came up I had told my good friend Sasha that I would be able to do it because of how my parents felt about Chrissy. However I never mention it to anyone else in the group. And after school we happened to be talking about the party and why it could be at my house. I stated that my earlier that my parents just did not want to deal with the hassle of 12 kids over night. But when Chrissy asked later accidently Sasha let out the truth behind my parents no. she felt super bad and immediately called me to apologize I was mad at first but I could not stay mad. It was a total accident and I knew that I could not keep the charade up much longer anyway. I knew pretty soon Chrissy would find out. However I was not totally prepared for how Chrissy would react to my parents thoughts. She confronted my that night at the football game. Let just say it was not the most comfortable talk of my life. Chrissy flipped out and started yell and could see why my parents did not like her. I agreed with her just to stop the auguring cause I was beginning to come to terms and take the side of my parents but I was to afraid to lose my friendship with her that I stopped listening to what I was feeling. So right then and there I walked away to make a phone call and spent 20 minutes on the phone with my parents trying to convince them to let us hang at the house. AT first they were reluctant to the idea however I was finally like look I see you point I see the side of Chrissy that you see I just trying to avoid drama and this is the only way I can see that I can accomplish this because if she pulls anything im on home turf so I can call the shots on what happened. And my mother was so proud to hear the way I was handling it that she said yes. I was in stock. What had I just done!
As I walked back over to the group feeling pretty proud of myself I over heard Chrissy tell Sasha and Kylie and Sasha boyfriend that she did not believe that my mom did not approve of her she though I was making it up because in truth she though I was the one that did not like her. I was floored but I held my tongue because I did not work that hard to find us a place to hang out at to get I a fight over what I thought I hear Chrissy say. So I stopped collected myself and began to walk over pretending I heard nothing, but all in all no what I heard. Told them the good news and walked away. To watch the rest of the football game.
The dance went off with a bang and soon we found ourselves at my house have a blast playing pool and dance to the music. Then came time to settle down well turn the music off and let my parents get some kinda of sleep that night because we knew that nothing I the world would get us to sleep. Yeah were we wrong. We were all out just past 4 am and then up at 9 like I promised my parents. All in all I very successfully drama free weekend minus Friday. But soon came Monday and Monday brought up old flares intensified but new sparks.

It was right after school and I was trying to print off my Contemporary issues project. When Matt my neighbor who I give a ride home to came in a told me he had over heard Chrissy talking about me know good and well that we were good friends. So be a caring person decided to let me know that she was not a great friend. I was so scrambled at that moment I did not know what to do. So I walked out of the library to go to my locker and get my stuff when I heard Chrissy for myself, her back was toward me and she was talking with one of her teammates on the cheerleading team about me. She was stating how fake I was and how I made the whole story up about my parent because when she was at my house she said my parents were so nice to her. What happened next I could even tell you what happened it all happened so fast I call Chrissy out for talking crap and stated if she had an issue with me then to take it up with me not with people who have nothing to do with the problem. Then she got all defensive and I walked back to the library got Matt a walked past her and did nor say a word. The last statement I said to her was I bend over backward for you and everyone I never ask for anything back, do not interrupt me let me finish. I do that because I care about each one of you and im sick and tried of being treated like crap. I fought my mother for 20 minutes to let you come to my house and this is how you treat me. I done could find when you grow a brain and heart because you do not even realize what kinda of friendship you just lost.
Right then and there I knew even if we patched this up it would never be the same cause I do trust nor will ever see Chrissy as a friend ever again. She is what was holding me back, keeping me from happiness. Recently I have found better friends who I thought I had grown apart from I it just goes to show that kids may go there own way but we always find right from wrong and in order for me to be happy and have fun my senior year I needed to grown up and leave the cattiness behind to be able to move on to the next step even if that means losing a close friend. So Chrissy im so but I go to go my own way!

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jrfirefighter686 said...
Sept. 3, 2008 at 2:11 am
Ashley you better keep going, i mean this is about 1/15 of everything that happened.
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