The Cheese | Teen Ink

The Cheese

January 22, 2008
By Anonymous

As I entered Dorm Room 239, my eyes focused on six hideous pairs of Old Navy shoes in black, blue, yellow, red, green, and purple. At first glance, they resembled dinosaur feet. While I examined the rest of the dorm room, I heard strident footsteps approaching the door. “Is anyone there?” yelled the stranger.

Before I could answer, the door flung open. A bulky girl with thick black glasses stood by the entrance. She enthusiastically said, “Hey, I’m Paradine. I’m your roommate!”

I replied, “Hi. I’m Sheila. Looks like a good campus.”

While I unpacked my clothes, I was hoping that the next three weeks of summer camp were not going to miserable. That evening, my friends and I talked and watched Newlyweds . We called my roommate, “The Cheese”—“Paradine” sounds like “Parmesan,” right? It was awful, but we thought we were clever for twelve year olds.
When I went to grab a pack of Doritos, I noticed that it had disappeared. I was surprised to find the empty bag of Doritos in Paradine’s closet. The next morning, I felt a shake on my arm. I opened my eyes immediately; they were scorching like fire burning bright. I saw an enormous shadow in front of me, it was the Cheese! She shook me again, hard, and flipped on the light switch.

She ordered, “Get up and get dressed.”

I roared, “What!”

My alarm clock read 5:00 A.M. “Are you crazy? Why did you wake me up?”

She replied with an air of annoyance, “To get the best laundry spot!”

I rolled my eyes and covered myself with the blanket. However, she somehow managed to drag me to the laundry room. At noon, The Cheese found us at the lunch table and asked if she could join us. We answered yes, but only because our dorm advisor was glaring at us.

Later, when I came into the dorm, my nose was assaulted by a toxic fruity smell in the hallway. I followed the stench, which lead to the bathroom. Suddenly, a husky girl with a pink robe and matching slippers barged out of my room. It was The Cheese!

I followed her to the bathroom, shocked as I watched her lay a bottle of Lysol on the toilet seat and another one in the shower. She was an insane germophobe!

As days passed, the situation became progressively unbearable. I was living with a monster! My food and drinks disappeared and cans of Lysol laid everywhere by the end of the session. Finally, the last day of camp arrived; however, the nightmare was still not over. Till this day, I quiver whenever I sprinkle parmesan cheese on my pasta.


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This article has 4 comments.


soccerfan said...
on Sep. 1 2008 at 3:13 am
This is an excellent article! I can't believe this hasn't been published yet. Great job!

on Aug. 27 2008 at 3:28 am
Nice style of writing. The introduction really grabbed my attention. Definetely 5 star material!!!!!!!!!

Sid09 said...
on Aug. 26 2008 at 4:01 am
Great article! What a funny and interesting camp experience.

nisa said...
on Aug. 22 2008 at 5:17 pm
This is a great article and it definetely deserves to be a top seller. It's so funny and creative!