Good friends reminds me not of myself sadly but of me and my sister. I and my sister have had our fights but that is what makes us good friends. With my sister if memories were pictures we’d have a huge scrapbook. But mostly what good friends remind me of is how we don’t have that anymore. Those times where we would go to the movies together and throw popcorn at each other, like good friends. But slowly boys would start to come into the picture. She’d beg my dad to let us “spend time together” and we’d get there and they’d throw popcorn at each other. I remember I spent all of my babysitting money on that good friend of mine. For phone cards, lunch, movies, car decorations, subway. But the pain of losing a good friend. You know nothing of what it feels like. The pain. It’s unbearable. You can’t describe that pain sinking through my grey, sad heart, like I feel, everyday.of.my.life. We were supposed to be in high school together. Our only year. Her last year. Homecoming, prom, first boyfriends, first kisses, advice, help on homework. We wouldn’t get to do any of it. Sometimes I’d try to stay awake ‘till, one, two, three in the morning to tell her how I feel. But the only thing that escapes my lips is a quiet, ‘hey, where were you?” “Did you have fun?” And I’d listen. Not because I liked hearing about her stupid drunken outings, but because sometimes I haven’t heard her voice in days. That voice. The one that everyone said we could be twins because of it. Have you ever been dependable on someone? Kind of put your heart into their hands? When my sister is gone she takes my heart with her. And when she’s gone for days my heart cant function right when she comes back. Nobody. Not even the whole world can keep me from my sister. I love my good friend, and somewhere out there she has my heart with her. I just hope she can see it.
October 12, 2007