Cherry Doors

March 25, 2008
I held the scissors to my arm, marks from times before gleamed fresh in the light of the lamp. What was I doing? I had been happy once, a long time ago, before returning to Texas. I saw the teenage girl and the young boy. standing at my door, Colorado being their backdrop. I set the scissors down. My finger traced the dried blood on my arm. They were the last. I turned off the lamp and my room was dark. The thin beam of light at the botom of my door softly illuminated it. The door was white and uncomfortable. The white was not right... The white was not the cherry of all those years ago...

The wire snapped. Crimson drops stuck to the metal. The round lights bobbed overhead the still, terrified dancers; their final expressions on their faces. Dark scarlet flooded the dance flooras the bodies fell apart like broken glass, leaving the girl standing alone, screaming in a shapeless sea...
"Ghost Ship" seemed to be a decent, interesting movie. The doorbell rand. I got up. The epiphany of my life was at the door. "Trick or trea!" It was a boy almost half my height. He had decided to be a ninja for that one night where it wsn't our of the ordinary to have plastic weapons. A teenage girl I supposed was his sister stood beside him. Her costume was...bold. "Happy Halloween" I said in my stupidly optimistic tone perfect for these types of situations. I threw Skilles in the boy's plastic pumpkin and a handful of God-knows-what into the girl's bag. My eyes never went near the boy. I closed the door and went upstaris; collapsing back down on the pale green chair passing my mother lying on the couch. I glanced out the window, hoping for another glance at the boy's sister; my hormones controlling my eyes. The sexy nurse and ninja had disappeared into the crowd.
The night pulsed with screams and bells. The witches walked and the devils dashed. The dauntless heroes and haunting vampires swarmed the street with the werewolves and pirates.
Halloween is a night when you see the world. You see happy strangers, you touch them, they touch you; imprinting your mind after the most insignificant amount of time. But this night, and this night alone was different...The imprints gave me emotions. They let me leave myself and just...look at the world. Every person had their own life. The nurse and ninja lived. The world is vast, there's disease, people being born, inventions, teenage couple, colloege projects, accidentally broken window; so many things that made up everything. So many trivial things. The nurse and the ninja showed my that.
It had been close to the timeto pick my brother up when "Ghost ship" was drawing to a close. Outside, a crisp, cool breeze flurried into my lungs, chilling every breath. The exhalation was a ghastly swirl in the air. I looked at the sky. There was a wispy cloud and stars thrown into the amber abyss. The sienna tone of the sky brought a strange ccomfort and the promise of frosty trees and grass in the morning. I got in the silver Accord and we drove off.

Returning home, the road had become deserted and voiceless. The second movie, "Darkness Falls" wasn't looking so good. Ten had turned to eleven and eleven turned to twelve. Halloween was over. My mother and Joel were sleeping. I turned off the T.V. leaving them where they lay. I walked down the dark hall. The wood doors seemed to have the red glow of cherry wood.
The cherry doors had been my life. Everything happened there in that house. The happy memories used to outnumber the bad sad ones then. This night had been nothing to me. But now, that night is the night where I saw that I could escape and be happy.
I was in my room. I didn't bother turning on the lightI took off my shirt and shorts and slid into bed the second they were off. I had sat there forever, restlessly stared at the ceiling, my empty mind full of perplexing thought. I threw the comforter off me and walked to the windoe. I shivered, my boxers being my only defense against the cold. The window fogged under my breath. The houses along the street were dark and lifeless. Pike's Peak cast a shadow over almost everything I could see, trees and hills and buildings. It was beautiful. my mind wandered forever without aim or reason. I contemplated the endless trivial things; someone was dying right now, someone was loosing there virginity right now, someone was studying for calculus right now, right now, someone tied there shoe. I smiled. It was one of those moods where optimism takes over you, turning into a zombie, not really living your own life, an indescribable mood where emotion is blurred. Things were wrong in my life and would get drastically worse, but at that moment, when I saw the world through my window and the world saw me, I was happy. The people and the places and the entire world were beautiful, even when it was sad. It was the small things, like the nurses and the ninjas that smialed at you, the movies you watch, the frost on the grass... When you think about the world like that, you escape. The world was full of beauty and how could I be sad enought to hurt myself when I was surrounded by this?

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