Teenage Gypsy

I am a teenager. An indisputable fact I cannot deny, describes the very essence of my mind, soul, and existence. Webster’s tells me I am adolescence experiencing puberty, but in reality I am much more complex than a single definition out of an dictionary. Confusion, angst, rebellion, and alienation surround me because I am a teenager.

The search for identity leads to confusion. Sometimes I feel like I’ll end up in a mental institution. Who am I? What’s my purpose? These are thoughts that drive me to question, my place in society, my own perception. I am a teenager tied down at home not free to wander, just hanging out alone. Next comes the angst, that feeling of uncertainty. Fear consumes my mind, body, and soul, while I let the anxiety sink in: it sure is cold. I start to panic and become a bit paranoid, not trusting anyone. The ‘What ifs’ begin to captivate my thoughts, sending long unpleasant shivers down my spine. Leaving me to suffer in my own demise. What if I don’t find my place? What if I get lost along the way? Being a teenager is not just fun and games.

Like Holden Caulfield, I begin to rebel, hating school; it sure is hell. Not conforming to society, starting fights, being difficult in almost every aspect of life. Disrespecting authority, not wanting to feel controlled, I am looked down upon by others for being too bold. I say what I want, I do what I want, I wear what I want, these are the principles I live by. Sometimes I wonder how far that will get me in this life. But who cares because I am a teenager, someone who is suppose to stand up and fight back. Unfortunately it is all a misconception, the real reason I act out is due to the lack of affection. Alienation the final stage in being a teenager, is probably the worst one of all, because you’re alone and isolated. Detached from society, I tried to find my way back but got lost along the way and gave up. There was no one to help me, no one for me to love. All alone in this valley of tears, I walk alone and find comfort in the fact that this is just a stage in my life, teenage angst…or is it?

Sorry Webster, you got it wrong this time. Being a teenager is much more than just puberty, it’s about identity, self expression and loneliness. I am a teenager, just like many, I pray to God this is only a phase, cause being a teenager is getting more and more difficult with every day. Defining a teenager can he very hard, but I think John Lennon did a good job. He wrote words that can describe, the very thoughts that cross my mind. “People say we got it made, don’t they know we’re so afraid?…We’re afraid to be alone everybody got to have a home…Just a boy and a little girl trying to change the whole wide world…The world is just a little town everybody trying to put us down…I don’t except you to understand…Isolation….” I am not a teenager, but a gypsy.





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