November 4, 2010
Sometimes I wish I could just sleep. Just sleep until I've figured out something about my self. Whenever I dream, I dream of sweet things, things like Thailand or hamsters, things that are sweet to me. But isn't it true that we all have dreams, sometimes we cant remember those dreams but when we do dream we believe what is happening is really true. That’s the thing about dreams, there like a guilty pleasure, something we enjoy getting caught up in but when we wake up we know they’ll be gone. Dreams are great and honestly, if they were bad wouldn't they be called nightmares? Sometimes we just have to get lost in a dream, give ourselves power in something to believe in so that maybe, maybe if we dream hard enough it will really happen.

When ever I think of my papa I think of what I remember about him. Whenever I try to think about a memorable time with him, everything goes blank. I don't remember loving him or crying when he died. That sounds terrible and I know that, but the truth is, even though we lived really close sometimes, Ive never felt more away from him. Maybe it was his disease, that seems to do things to people. Eat away at them until there’s nothing left, until its just the outside. I cried when they told stories about him, but I didn't cry for him. In some ways, I wish I would've cried when he died. I wish I cried so that when people asked me how I was, I could just cry. When people ask you how you are, they really don’t care how you are, they don't care if somebody close to you dies, they only care about themselves. About whats going on in their lives, if its perfect, every thing is perfect.

Maybe that’s whats wrong with our world. Everyone cares about themselves. Everyone is selfish in there own special way, yet they all share the idea of wanting more. Money, money and fame and a white picket house is what they all want, they want a piece of the dream. People steal each others dream take it, use it, and then throw it away as if it was nothing. They don’t even bother to recycle. A world where everyone gets a little bit of something, no one is on the streets, no one is living in a five story mansion. That would be great wouldn't it, a place full of equality and a social balance, but then again, that's just another dream.

Sometimes I dream of what would happen if there was a no automobile day everyone had to walk on there own to feet. Wouldn't that be great, wouldn't it be great to see everyone just walking and then to see the results on what impact that had on the earth. But hen I remember, I remember the percentage of kids in America that have grown obese, I rememebr the amount of homeless people without shoes. and then I remember with the five story house. The folks who try to impact the earth with their money, but what about there minds? Did anyone forget about that, about the power of knowledge? Whenever I hear about celebrities donating money or becoming ambassadors I start laughing. It makes me laugh thinking about how far money can get you.

One time, I had a dream about money, it was up to my arms, money that is. Golden money, coins up to my arms. That was a good dream I had, but when I woke up the dream disappeared. I wonder if that's what happens in real life too. You have a dream, you think you’re going to work towards it, but then it just goes just like that. I try to plan out everything in my day, when i eat , when i do my homework but something always changes in my plans. I never actually follow the rules I make.

Can you imagine if everyone was just gray. If everyone was just blobs and everyone dressed the same. Now that would be equality that would be what is right. In the world, we try to think people don't judge people don't judge if you are different if you stand out. But the truth is that they do. When I was sitting in the park the other day I see a man in a wheelchair and i stair. Everything is a stare. Everything is a long stare of judgement.

Whenever I look in the Macy’s catalog each page makes me smile to myself. On almost every picture they try to make it racially equal, racially the same. There’s a picture of a white child and right next to her is a picture of black child. There is a page full of white men, and one black man. Now you can try to be racially aware, but that doesn't mean putting two children, two men, two people of different race on a catalog. Selling them, selling whats about them.

What I’m trying to say is that these dreams we have, whether it be for racial equality, a greener world, or just plain knowledge, we just have to wait. We just have to wait for time to past. This could take a long time that is true, but if you really think about it, maybe its already happened. Maybe you’re dream is right before your very eyes but you make one step and you lose it. Think of it as a game, you can move up depending on the numbers on the dice. If the numbers on the dice reads a low number well then maybe you'll get there quickly. But if its a high number it might take you a longer time. We all own the dice though, we make the numbers, we change the outcome.

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