The Irrelevancy Of Thought

October 15, 2009
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Beauty. What a simply, overused collection of letters, yet buried beneath its surface can be found a world of comfort and peace. But how is such a discovery achieved? It requires dropping your phone, your computer, your briefcase, your schedule or any number of other shields that we bear. Lower your defenses and allow beauty to come into focus. Never will it be an easy task and it demands we embrace the negative.

It is in the darkest moments of life, the times when desperation defines our outlook and everything we feel These callous seconds are when beauty in its most sincere and raw form is glimpsed. If only for the few precious blinks of the sun gracing the horizon or a butterfly aloft a tall branch in May. Situations such as these never fail to glide past our deliberate march towards a stressful end. But for that rare breed; the true veterans of thought; those who have seen more than they wanted to see and come out with twenty-twenty vision. It is these elite few who have taken pain for what it is worth. Not just a cross to lug across a desert of burden. But rather a window into beauty. To understand such a paradox has quite simply become too much of a hassle for us. Delving into the realms of our discomfort is not a tantalizing prospect to say the least, but it is within these dark, empty moments that shattered remains can be swept into a crafted masterpiece. The all too often, over-indulged big picture that hangs ominously overhead is begging to be discovered. It requires nothing more than choosing to see light in darkness.

There is no method of fabrication advanced enough to create a diamond ring without first breaking down the rock. It must be cut, shaved, and trimmed down to size. But the end result is one of the most sought after commodities of our time. Similarly we cannot become a strong, rounded individual in an instant. It takes being broken and truly desperate. In such a fashion, let pain be your route to beauty. Do not let it escape between your fingers again and again. Hindsight is sweet on the lips unless you blind your eyes to what is in front of you. Life is a journey pot marked with dead-ends and traffic jams. But beyond the hype of ill-informed, idealistic dreams lie the plains of realism. If we could only breach the barrier separating the two, what an incredible journey life would be indeed. It appears a lesser alternative, but when explored the realistic boundaries of life can lead to genuine understanding. Life could mean something if we’d only allow it the time to do so. In complete honesty, choosing to see life through realistic eyes could perhaps highlight bleakness, but it in turn does not allow for beautiful circumstance to be passed over either.
Life is not always a grey stormy afternoon filled with dark clouds threatening to burst and pour down a torrent of water drops. Perhaps it is the mother sparrow comforting her young in their nest high in the boughs of a seasoned elm. Or the rivulets of water dripping down the window pane, carving their way to a plunge into the soft grass. Maybe it is even the gathering black of dusk, just waiting to unveil the blanket of the heavens exploding into the far expanses of our sight. But beauty must be found, must be sought. It is not handed to us. Pain will come, but along with it a lesson learned, a scar healed, and a beautiful drop of paint on a canvas just waiting for a brush. A brush to shape the pain into something far more worthwhile indeed.
Who am I? What does a 17 year old know about such things? For years I was subjugated to a deep depression that I could not understand. Chained down by the spiritual and emotional war going on in my head. Is God real? Why do things like this happen to me? How did life turn upside down so quickly? These questions rocketed around my head day and night. I think I was 4 years old the first time I questioned whether I was going to Hell. I was lost in the midst of pain. I mention all of this not to strike a nerve. I seek not your sympathy but rather your ears. It is not just a note I play for my own enjoyment, but a whole symphony of sounds begging to be heeded. It is possible to locate the beautiful side of life. I discovered writing and music through that time. I learned what a precious gift life truly is. And most importantly I gained faith in my faith so to speak. I now have something with which to support my life. It takes nothing more than exploring what is really in front of you. Letting it define you and learn something from it. See what is in front of you. Life is waiting, but it will not stop for you. So don’t make it.

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