things do change, after all. nothing stays the same. all we've been through, that's down the toilet. the memories, the laughs, the smiles, the tears, the crazyness, it's all gone now. we always trusted each other, with our lives, telling each other everything, even the most random things that popped up. we knew everything about each other, always. when something happened, you were the first one i went to, no matter what. you always gave me the best advice, wanting the best for me, never wanting me to go through any pain. you were the one that was there, when i was falling through the cracks, and you were the one that saved my life that night, holding me in your arms all night as i cried. we were always ourselves around each other. you were one of the only people I was completely myself around, and you made me think of myself as something that deserves to be here. we would always be together, almost 24/7 with each other. i counted on you for everything, whatever it was, i knew you would help me, would comfort me, you wouldn't judge me, and you'd be there for me. all the things we've gone through, it's not even funny. we're both scarred for life, from all the trips down the stairs, and that time at messolonskee. you've always stuck up for me, never backstabbed me, never let me down. you were the guy, the one that was my hero, the one i looked up to, as both a best friend, and an older brother. we have so many memories, so many crazy times together. all the stupid inside jokes, and the weird comments on random things, i think about those all the time. you were the one that got me to stop hurting myself, because i could see the pain in your eyes, and i never want to see that again, but when I close my eyes, i remember those moments perfectly, and at times, i start crying. i regret the times i yelled at you, the times i tried to hurt you with everything i had, the time i broke your nose, the times i shunned you and yelled at you. i would do about anything to take all of that back. i think we were the craziest around each other, we brought out each other's good side, made us more happy, more alive. i remember, 2 years ago, when we first met. i walked in your house, and you came up to me, and you're like hi, i'm david, you're aunt's dating my uncle. now, we're gonna be best friends, so you better be able to fight like hell. that memory, makes me smile. it makes me cry now, as well. all the things we've been through, its so crazy. we used to scream at each other, when we were in the same room, just so we knew what color underwear we were both wearing. we both drove each other up the walls, but we loved each other to death. you used to walk into the room, and i'd be sitting there, on the laptop, watching tv, or listening to music, and you'd tackle me, for no reason, because you just walked out of the room 5 minutes ago. i remember the time i tackled you, when you got back from flordia, and we both went crashing down two flights of stairs. i still have a scar on my leg from that. we used to sing to each other, all the time, and not care if we stunk. i remember the breakdancing, those freestyling contests, man, those were workouts, and i loved how you moved with the music, it was like you were part of it. you always told me that i was meant to be a dancer or singer, it was like i was born with it. i loved you for saying that. we have the weirdest obsessions, like the mullets. that was amazing in wally-world, i swear that guy thought we were whacko. well, you still mean the world to me, i still love you with everything i have, and now, i miss you so much, it's killing me. please, i just want you back. i love you.
June 8, 2009