How to Spot, Stop, and Step up to Abuse

January 4, 2012
By nikki007 GOLD, Bonney Lake, Washington
nikki007 GOLD, Bonney Lake, Washington
15 articles 14 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see" gandhi

High school relationships are confusing and have an almost one hundred percent guaranteed failure. Even with all the confusion of learning how to be in a relationship there are things that never should be in any relationship you have. Abuse is something no person should ever have to experience but there are still a lot of cases in which it happens. There are still a lot of cases of which it happens. It needs to be put to an end!

Many people who are in abusive relationships don’t see the signs at the beginning that usually can tell a person that it could possibly lead to abuse. Although a lot of the times the people also don’t know the beginning signs of abuse to start with.

Some red flags to start with at the beginning of the relationship are if your partner is possessive. They always want to be with you and when they are with you they have their arm around you or are touching you constantly even when you have asked for some space. He or she gets extremely jealous; they don’t even like you talking to a person of the opposite sex much less hugging or hanging out with them. They will go out of their way to spend time with you. It really is all about controlling your time though. These signs would seem obvious but they aren’t realized a lot of the time because people can get so caught up with the relationship and are completely blind and see these signs as them being completely devoted to the relationship and to them.

Given those are some big things that usually that the friends of the person in the relationship can only see because the persons emotions are blinding them. These are some that only the person in the relationship can know and feel. If you feel anything like this in the relationship you may want to take an overall look at your relationship. Are you confused about your relationship? Ever feel like being in this relationship is driving you crazy? You feel like you are “walking on eggshells”? It might be hard to spend time with friends and family because you spend so much time with your partner. Your partner decides when and where you have sex. You feel like you are in a relationship with two different people?
You feel like you have to justify everything you do? Your energy and get up go spirit to have the excitement to do anything is drained? If you feel any of these things you may want to talk to someone, anyone, a friend, family member, counselor, and mentor, just someone you can get help or advice from. Women are the most known for pushing back their instinct fears away into the back of their mind because they don’t want to seem mean. The gift of fear is important it can save your life.

You can also get tells by the way the person treats you. Do they call you names or put you down? Do the relationship rules change on you? They always want to know what you’re doing and who you’re with all the time. They act extremely jealous. Or they find excuses to keep you from getting enough sleep. They push, shove, or grab you! They keep you from leaving when you want to leave? Do they force you to do things sexually you don’t feel comfortable doing? Do they promise to change when you continually bring up something you don’t like them doing to you? If any of these were yes. Talk to someone that could help you. Ask for advice, I’m sure your friends are always willing to listen and give advice and if not I will. Or a counselor, a parent, a nurse even can help.

There are lots of non-profit organizations out there that want to and are willing to help all you have to do is look for them. One of many is DAWN, Domestic Abuse Women’s Network, the number is (425)656-7867 and the website is Call them any time. Abuse isn’t always physical it’s also emotional and verbal as well.

The author's comments:
Abuse is something that happens and goes unseen and many victims fall through the cracks, this needs to stop!

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