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Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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This article has 186 comments. Post your own!

Lola_Black said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 6:38 pm:
I don't know you, but I think I love you! I too am a lesbian in mismatched socks with a weekness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee (usually can't afford either of which, but I still love 'em)!! Much respect : 3
 
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xXYourxRainXx said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 2:54 pm:
TEHE I'm proud of you even though i don't know you, i too wear mix match socks :) and i respect you! tehe
 
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spiritwriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 7:23 pm:
most amazing thing I've read in such a long time. You have a strength about you that I could never imagine having. I myself have no way of telling my parents, and my mother would react the same way, even worse. And I don't have a therapist or someone to mediate or tell this to. Reading this has helped so much. You are inspiring!
 
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steph95 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:34 pm:
i admire your bravery and your ability to be so honest! you are really an amazing , brave and courageous person.
 
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. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm:
congratulations on being honest with your mom. I applaud you hacing the guts to speak out like that. but be careful where you speak out- you can cause an accident doll. ne howz tho wow your really talented and ilove the peice. i wish everybody would have the guts to do what you did.
 
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Ines R. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm:
love that you were very brave on telling your mom,many people go through the same personaly saying and it is difficult specially with our mom who never seen to know the reason why we were born this way but after all they are our mom and they love us not matter what. thanks for this =)
 
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VivaSarcasm said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm:
I think admitting you are gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender is a very courageous thing to do. It's a hard thing to do, especially with all of the discrimination and intolerance even in these modern times. I believe in gay rights and that while Christianity views homosexuality as wrong, God loves us all anyways and He will accept us. I'm not gay, but the judgement that people face isn't right. I have family members who are gay or lesbian and I love them anyways. I don't think people shou... (more »)
 
swcricket98 replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 4:31 pm :
I agree 100% with this comment.
 
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CookeysAndCream said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 8:13 am:
Wow! You're so brave! And I'm glad it all turned out alright. :)
 
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kitkatt2136 said...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 1:16 pm:

I'm glad this was written because it shows the strained relationship between mother and daughter. All mother-daughter relationships are like this in same way, regardless of the daughter's sexual orientation. Thank you for writing this and showing people like me that we are not the only ones who struggle with our mothers. I hope you and your mother have worked out your problems.

Side note: This is not the place to be bashing homosexuality. This is not a hate board-this is place to place... (more »)

 
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Akz13 said...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 6:55 pm:

let people be who they are. homosexuals are born the same as as "straight" people. they were not hatched... people are born that way! love them for who they are... love all of god's creations.

dont even be bothered by people who are no thappy with their lives that they have t criticise things beyond changing!

 
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DisneyPrincess:) said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 8:48 pm:
Alright. Rhi is not a place to have arguments about whether or not you like homosexuality or hate it or think God does or does nor like homosexuals or what you have it. This website is a place for people to express themselves to others. These comments are an opportunity to give writers constructive criticism, ways to improve their art, and compliments. Let's keep these comments serving the purpose they were created for.
 
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BorderlineGenius777 said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 12:01 am:
good for you! i hope things between you and ur mother are still going well
 
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B who you are said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 4:04 pm:
I believe that people should be able to love who they want. People are people, we were made to love.  As long as there is love and happiness then the haters can go to ****! I'm not gay, but I have been best friends with a girl for 12 years. She is no different than anyone else. She just prefers girls. Good luck, and I hope you keep up the writing. :)
 
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crazy-ashbobash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 3:04 pm:
Wow, that is amazing what you did. I really respect you for the bravery and the fact that you published it. That is really great, I'm glad everything worked out.
 
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seamuxfinny said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm:
Wow, that was amazing. It was good that you came out, and I completely understand what it's like as I recently came out as bi to my mom.
 
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SaritaFajita said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:50 am:
I admire your work and your bravery for putting it out there and being proud of yourself. You should NEVER be ashamed of who you are. Your mother still loves you no matter what and I hope things work out for  you! I wish it wasnt written annonomously though, because I would have LOVED to read your other work!
 
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GravityMcFalls said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:28 am:
Wow! I admire your confidences, courage, and easiness in that situation! I'm not gay, or bi, but I respect their lifestyle choices and treat them nicely like I try to do to other people. And I have HIGH respect for YOU! You rule! : )
 
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Celia said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 9:33 am:
I admire your courage and confidence. I hope things continue to get better with your mom. this was very well-written too! :)
 
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ChelseyChelsey said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 7:57 am:
I'm happy for you for coming out alot of my friends (girls) are gay too. I'm glad you were confident enough to come out. Good luck in life and God Bless You :)
 
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