Fixing Extinction Efficiently

March 28, 2017
By ANakedPanda BRONZE, Sacramento, California
ANakedPanda BRONZE, Sacramento, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The world is filled with millions of different species of animals and plants. Each species has specific characteristics that others do not. From the Ailuropoda melanoleuca (Giant panda) to the Anisoptera (dragonfly). Humankind has always been interested in researching these specimen to uncover the secrets of these organisms. In the past millenniums ever since humankind stepped foot into earth extinction rates have gone up one thousand percent (Dell'amore 15). Our interest in these animals have caused many spectacular species to go extinct. One example would be the west african black rhinoceros which was called extinct in 2011, another would be the once-plenty passenger pigeon, called extinct in 1914 (Gerken 7). Our future children will never get the chance to gaze upon these majestic animals. Something must be done to save all the dying specimen! While we are at it, why not also save the thriving, healthy, and flourishing species too! My plan is a “two birds with one stone” plan, this plan will eliminate the word extinction from the dictionary. This plan will solve every animal problem you can think of! Now this plan will seem eccentric at first, but it will seem sane later on. My plan is to herd all the animals in the world in a enclosed facility and artificially reproduce them. Now, my fellow animal rights activist, I can sense your rage and confusion. I assure you on my high school diploma that this plan will work.

As I stated before, ever since humans have stepped foot on land animal extinction rates have risen over one thousand percent. If humans have such a strong impact then why don't we use this impact to fix this percentage and turn it into a zero? Although doing so will destroy the food chain and wildlife economy. On the bright side, we will be saving millions of species! Using our strong influence our first step is to forcefully sleep all the animals in the world and put them into a semi-large enclosed habitat where we can artificially reproduce them. In this artificial habitat we can fix things that we couldn't have outside. Another positive that will come out of this is that we can destroy all the other unnecessary rain forest and habitats for other purposes, such as more factory buildings or housing for the earth-loving people! This will allow us to produce more lumber for the world and expand humanity's grasps. Of course we can solve the rest of the problems later. For now, we must focus on saving the many specimen important to the advancement of humankind.

I imagine all of my fellow animal-activists thinking of the same flaw in my plan. This flaw is something I had to debate over and over again until I created the perfect solution. The dilemma was how are we going to keep all the animals inside this facility and reinforce it so we can insure their safety? Should we spend our precious funds on building reinforced borders? Should we employ military personnel to protect this facility? Why not both! Spending our precious military funds on borders would be completely useless. Instead we should sit our whole military at this facility and invest our already military funds towards anti-poaching weaponry. This unique armament will only cost 1/10 of the total funds our military receives (601 billion/year) and with this new arsenal we can insure the safety of the animals in the facility. Many critics might say that we should just spend this money on already established zones all around the world. I assure you on my high school diploma that it will simply not work. Another argument I hear quite often is why not send our military overseas to protect the endangered areas. Everyone knows that our military is stronger together. Why separate our 430 warships when we can keep them all together in a 200 mile radius (Valinsky 1). As you can see now my plan is near flawless. The last question you might have now is where would we place this spectacular facility? I propose that this facility should reside on top of the Amazon forest.

This would be the perfect place for our facility and military to reside. The Amazon forest is about 6.9 million square kilometers or 2.7 million square miles (Butler 3). This is the perfect amount of room for everything we need. First we will cut down all the trees, cover up swamps, block river flows, and ¨reorganize” the habitat. This will allow us to manipulate the conditions of the climate. Second we will build 300 feet walls to enclose the whole area, and of course we can't forget about our main priority, housing for our soldiers and buildings to hold our anti-poaching arsenal. We will build humane, safe, and comfortable facilities for our hard-working people. The building will be top of the line with the newest technology available. It will be a utopia for everyone. Of course our animals will have barns or whatever to live in. The facilities will be so great we will be able to open up to tourist attractions to help earn money for the cost of the facility.

As you can see, this plan is near flawless at this point, We will be fixing the extinction rate by forcefully changing it, creating a facility to imprison these millions of species, and finding another useful way to spend our American tax dollars. Above all there is even a perfect place to host this facility. This will show the world that we need to care about our fellow animals that thrive along with us on this planet. We need to dedicate some of our valuable time to preserve our wildlife and help them become as spectacular as they were before. We rely on our fellow species, if they die, we die. If we really try, we can erase the word extinction from OUR vocabulary.

The author's comments:

This piece is entirely satirical, I wanted to give people both for and against the environment a unique read to provide different insights and perspective to this topic.

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