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A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for Overpopulation
FOR PREVENTING THE ESCALATION AND LONG TERM PERPETUATION OF OVERPOPULATION
It is a melancholy object to those who live on this earth, starving from lack of resources or crammed into a small living space due to the many people they’re sharing the planet with. Overpopulation itself causes more issues, such as lack of resources, starvation, and cramped living areas. If this problem is not solved, more and more people will starve, and a sickness will spread like wildfire throughout the entire human population.
I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence of overpopulation is an understated threat, and with everyday adding on to the problem, we need to figure something out very fast. Anyone who is intelligent enough to solve this increasing issue should be awarded millions of dollars and the title ‘Ruler of the World’ (exaggeration: no one would be named ruler of the world).
But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the betterment of humankind altogether. It is beneficial because the human race would have more room to live, resources would be less scarce, and the life of our planet would be preserved due to less people polluting it and ruining it everyday. Global warming would be drastically improved and the world would thrive more than it ever has because of the declined numbers of humans.
As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be. Limiting families to only one child is bound to fail as they will start keeping their family a secret from the government. This causes many issues with security of a country and thus is not a great solution. China has adopted the one child rule, but previously disbanded it because it has caused another issue, the issue of secretive children. All other solutions put into place have obviously not worked at all as we are increasing our planet at an alarming rate.
I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subject to any disagreement.
I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit should hold a mass extermination of the human race. Wiping out 50% of humankind would solve overpopulation in many ways.
In this scenario There would be a lottery held in every county in the United States, a lot like the Presidential Election, where 50% of each county's community will be randomly drawn. It will be held just once, until the population soars like it has now. If you are drawn in the lottery, you are allowed to live, if you are not picked however, you have been selected to be put down for the betterment of the country and everyone remaining in it; very selfless of you! (exaggeration, they don’t have a choice) This will go on until the whole world is completed the depopulation event. Everyone not selected would be forced to travel to a local chamber where you are lethally injected. This would take probably a max of 48 hours, and our benefits would last a lifetime.
Of course no one wants to be selected to die, but the world would have to inform Earth’s community how important it is that they cooperate and understand the benefits to the mass extinction. All who oppose would be executed immediately for their selfish act.
These drastic and sudden changes would have the Earth thriving again! The human species would be reaping the benefits of more room for living, more resources such as food, water and shelter, Animals would be thriving in their natural habitats without having to worry about migration due to global warming. Every life form on Earth would be so extremely happy! (Parody, Most people would be mourning the loss of their loved ones)
I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal, unless the Church of Euthanasia, who is the largest group trying to control overpopulation, receives 3.6 billion followers who commit mass suicide, making my proposal unnecessary, or people vote that this is inhumane selfishly. We need to think about the big picture, what helps everyone, not just us as individuals.
Again, no one should dare to suggest these notions to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented.
It is not that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of the solutions to this topic, but simply that I have exhausted all other solutions for this problem that is approaching us and have decided this is the most efficient and feasible solution. My research shows how and why this solution demolishes all other solutions.