Sadness

October 19, 2017
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Just an ordinary day, so I thought. I started rushing to get my shoes on. My heart feels like it’s beating faster than race car coming for the win. I got this random text from my best friend. She had enough with the bullying from school, and was saying her goodbyes to me. My heart shook with fear and anger. Anger because if I wasn’t sleeping I could have been with her all day to keep her safe and a I could have talked to her and calm her down. I should have known that something was wrong with her the minute I dropped her off. The second I seen the message I instantly jumped up because I needed to get there fast. Oh no.. Please God no. “Mom I need you to move your car! Like NOW!” I just into my car and race to her house going 45mph in a 25. I didn’t care whatsoever. I slam on my breaks in front of her house, creating a loud screech. Then throwing my shift in park, jumping out of the car, and busting through the front door yelling at her sister, “Where is Jaime?!”

 

“In her room. Why?”


“No matter what STAY in this living room.”


I bust thru her door and see 3 different pill bottles laying on her bed. I grab them and throw them off her bed. Then run to her mom’s room next door to tell her. We’re all freaking out, terrified. All I can think in my head is Cheyanne call 911 NOW!


I call them and they said, “You need to pick her up and set her on the ground and have her squeeze your hand to make sure she conscious.” I’m trying to get her to squeeze my hand as hard as she can to make sure she conscious. Trying to keep my cool. “OUT” Yelling at her younger sister that didn’t need to see all that. Her eyes start rolling to the back of her head. I start to panic, “What do I need to do? I don’t know I don’t know what I’m doing!” “Okay Okay, calm Cheyanne. You got this. They’re almost here.” I say to myself.


Finally the ambulance got there and they raced her to the hospital. I broke down for days. She was in a institution for what it felt like months but it was just a week and a half. I couldn’t believe it. I blamed myself everyday because, I wasn’t there for her when she needed someone. But she needed the help that she needed from professionals and I knew I couldn’t help her as much as they could. I called everyday to check up on her, even some days just going over to check on her family.


At first she was really mad at me, but I’d always tell her that she is my best friend and she deserves to live, I don’t care what anyone else thinks about her. She was my best friend and I’d do anything to make her safe.
But all through this I’m so proud of the young women she’s became. She’s got into counseling and started working on her art more than thinking of those thoughts. Her art is so beautiful and also she’s really into photography. She has dreams of going to college in California for either art or photography. I see now how happy she is with life and she deserves every last bit of it. But most of all she is LIVING. I thank God everyday that she is still here and she has a smile on her face.






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