I logged into my Instagram, and glanced at my newest notification, expecting a like, follow, or comment. My notification, as expected, was a comment, not on my post, nor on someone's I had commented on-instead, I had been tagged. One Instagram follower of mine, a girl I didn't know personally and outside of social media, had tagged me, in a post that told viewers who seen the post to tag those they thought were the 'top most ugly persons'. I stared at my screen, hurt beyond belief. Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks, as I realized I had just been nominated the top most ugly person by a girl I never even met and had not ever hurt or done anything wrong to in any way that I recalled.
Through all my years as a young girl and teenager, I had gradually become convinced of my general unattractiveness. I looked in the mirror, wondering why it had to be me with this face and body, every time. Getting a notification like I did was just the official clarification of my always-near-certainty I was pretty much ugly.
Hurting, I tried to avoid letting my mom, best friend, or anyone know by hiding the pain and emotions I was feeling. Honestly, I was unsure of what anyone close to me would think if I told them.
What occurred that day sometime ago was really just the accumulation and success of everything the world had thrown at me since I was about twelve or thirteen, helping me slowly become aware that I wasn't the world's cutest girl. My body wasn't perfect, my face definitely wasn't: this I knew and just more keenly realized now after receiving that hurtful tag.
I remember immediately after a dance recital a few years ago, I was in my full costume, shoes, hair and make up, and passed a girl in my dance class with some others. I glanced in their direction, and they began laughing at me. Apparently my appearance was so bizarre (even with my hair and make-up done) that they needed to laugh at me.
Bullying, in any and all forms, have a profound effect, and way too much of an impact. Little, I think, do bullies actually know how much their words or actions hurt others. If they really knew the impact of what they say and do, I don't think they would ever do it.
Many bullied never forget their experiences when peers bullied them, put them down, and made them feel worthless, lookwise, ability wise, or otherwise.
Bullying has too much of an impact, too profound an effect, its too long term, and never forgotten-and I wish I could say it was something that didn't exist.
For those of you against strongly bullying, remember, always, the terrible, profound impact your words and actions can have on another person. Never bully, and try to stand up and defend those ever being bullied, no matter what.