“192!”
I hear my number called. My body stiffens. I hoist my skis up to the starting gate and concentrate on the task ahead. The crisp, cold air brushes against my face. My heart pounds. My body feels numb.
The line ahead of me shortens and only then does the realization sets in. I’m next. This is supposed to be fun, I tell myself.  The only thing  I can think about is what the other skiers will say at the finish line. The snickers. The looks.
“Racer ready? Go when ready.”
I push off and hope for the best.
I picked up racing at the beginning of high school, joining the ski team in hopes of making friends and becoming more confident. But I didn’t realize what a toll joining the team would take.
A group of athletes on the team had years of racing experience and were friends. Because of this, everyone inexperienced was excluded and ridiculed.
Thankfully, the coaches picked up on the negative behavior. They called a team meeting, and spoke to the athletes as a group. “Enough. We’re a team! What is wrong with you guys? We’re supposed to be lifting each other up not bringing each other down. You should want to see your teammates succeed. Don’t deflect your poor attitude onto others.”
I looked around and saw the disappointment. Everyone was aware and knew this unpleasant attitude was not acceptable.
This meeting changed my team’s attitude. The team was no longer cliquey, and I no longer felt judged. Instead, I was encouraged. It made me realize that simply addressing a problem is the best way to resolve it.
At the next race, I heard my number called. “192!” I hauled my skis up the slope and stood in the starting gate. As the line in front of me shortened, my excitement grew. “Racer ready? Go when ready.”
This will be fun, I thought.